All That History
by Chanel5
Summary: I know it's been done before but this is my take on Mark and Addison's relationship through the years.  Now Becoming AU
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: OK so I know that this story has been done before BUT I have always loved the Mark and Addison story and just wish we could ****have**** had some real background on the couple. So anyway this is just my take. It will just be snapshots of their lives through the years.**

**I hope you like it please review and let me know!!!**

**THE ENGAGEMENT**

Addison stood at the bottom of the stairs that led to Marks apartment. She had been dreading seeing him all day. She knew he knew that she was now engaged to be married to Derek. Mark was the first person he called after she said yes.

She took a deep breath and began her ascent up the stairs. Now she was standing in front of the door, she knocked softly, when she had no response she knocked a little louder.

Mark knew exactly who it was he had been expecting to see her this evening. He had contemplated going out, getting drunk and getting laid by some random woman. However he knew that he had to have this conversation, so he rationalised that it would be best to get it over with. Just wait for her to turn up.

He opened the door, just looked at her and motioned for her to come inside. They were not having this conversation in the hallway for his neighbours to witness.

Addison moved through the space he had made and turned to look at him. They stood there like that for what seemed like an eternity before she spoke.

"Aren't you going to say anything" She said quietly.

"What exactly do you want me to say Addison? Congratulations?" He said with a cool calm that was almost icy.

"I don't know what to say Mark. I'm sorry I never wanted to hurt you"

"Then go back and tell him you changed your mind, tell him you don't love him, tell him you don't want to marry him" He said angrily

"I can't do that, Derek loves me, he wants me to be part of his family"

"I can be your family"

"What about Derek? Mark he would be devastated if he knew about us. I can't do that to him."

"Don't think for 1 second that I don't know how much this would hurt Derek. He is the only family I have too. But Addison god I love you I'm prepared to take that risk. In time he would get over it"

"Mark stop we can't do this anymore"

"What about me Addison? What do I mean to you? I have known you for 7 years, I know what we have isn't just a fling."

"It's not Mark, a part of me will always love you but we both know that we couldn't work together, not really"

"That bullshit and you know it" He yelled

"I know that Derek would never hurt me"

"And you think I would? That's it isn't Addison? Derek's the safe option isn't he?" Mark was still yelling

"Yes Damnit is that what you want to hear? Derek is the safe option. I love him in a comfortable, safe, secure way. He loves me in a way that I have never experienced before"

"That's because it's love of friendship and family Addison. It's the love of his whole family that you don't want to lose because you never had it growing up just like I never. The love that you two share is of two people who care about each other. It isn't the passionate, can't be without each other love is it?

"No" Addison mumbled

"God what the fuck are you doing then? The whole situation is ridiculous. All 3 of us suffer. Derek deserves better than being someone's safe option. I don't deserve to have to spend the rest of my life pining after my best friend's wife, and you deserve to be with a man who you desire, who isn't just safe and secure"

"Mark please don't make this any harder that it already is" Addison said tears fighting their way down her face. The reality of what Mark was saying was true, but it was too late, she wasn't going to change her mind.

"I guess if that is your decision than we are done. But you can't expect me to be at your beck and call, just waiting for you to come back to me"

"Mark I can't lose you, please don't shut me out of your life. We have been friends for years, I don't want to ever lose that." Addison was nearly begging him now as she threw herself into his arms.

Mark had next to little will power when it came to Addison she was his weakness, his Achilles Heel. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him.

"Baby please don't cry. I hate it when you cry."

"I'm sorry Mark, so sorry. I know I'm being selfish and completely unfair, I 'm just so confused"

"I know you are which is why you have to tell Derek, that your answer is no. Addie you can't marry him if you feel like this. "

"I am getting married Mark, it's what I want. We can't be together anymore, once I'm married we can't do this anymore" She looked up at him and gently brushed her lips over his.

Mark pulled her closer and deepened the kiss; he ran his fingers through her hair, held her face, as his tongue entered her mouth.

This was the kind of love Mark was talking about earlier. He only had to touch the side of her face, run his fingers through her hair, kiss her softly and she was complete putty in his hands. Derek never had that effect on her which was what led her to Marks arms all those months ago.

They had been having an emotional affair for years, it was only the last 6 months that they finally acted on their feelings. They started off rationalising that it was a one off, a mistake that would never happen again, but a week later Addison was in Marks bed again.

"Just this last time Mark" she breathed into his ear after breaking the kiss.

Mark just stood up and held his hand out to her, she put her hand in his and he led her to his bedroom.

They took each other's clothes off slowly and fell on the bed as they began to make love. He kissed her neck and moved his hand down to caress her breasts. She reached down to feel his erection she needed to have him inside of her. This would be the last time they both thought to themselves.

Mark entered her slowly, letting her adjust before he began trusting inside of her, slow at first, he wanted this to last for as long possible. As their desire for each other increased his trusting became harder and faster. They both screamed out as their orgasms took over their bodies.

"I love you" Addison whispered as she lay her head on his chest.

"I love you too, regardless of what I said earlier I will always be here for you. Maybe not like this but..." He trailed off

"Thank you"

Addison left half hour later. They both wanted to believe that that was the last time they would be together. Derek meant too much to both of them.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. It always helps inspire me to continue to write. I hope you like the next instalment in the lives of Addison and ****Mark**** Words**** in italics are their thoughts. **

**THE WEDDING – AT THE CHURCH**

Addison was at the church, sitting in the dressing room, with her best friend Naomi and Sam, Naomi's Husband. Addison's mother died when she was 12 and her father retreated into his own world which didn't involve either his son or daughter. All three of them had drifted apart. Her brother Bradley, left for Oxford University at 18 and had now made London his home. He didn't even fly out for his sister's wedding. As for Addison's father he sent a ridiculously expensive gift and his condolences. He was on a business trip in Paris.

That was why Sam, her best friends Husband would be the one walking her down the aisle.

Addison was nervous, she knew she loved Derek, he was comfortable and safe. Yes he made her feel so very safe and secure, he would always be there for her and together they would have a fabulous life.

"Hey Addie are you ready to become Mrs Shepherd?" Naomi asked

"Yeah I am Nae" Addison replied quietly

"Hey Sam can you just give us 5 minutes, you know for some last minute girl talk" Naomi asked her Husband

"Sure, I'll just go see if everyone is ready" He replied

"Addie hun that just didn't sound convincing. Are you sure about this? Do you want to marry Derek? Because if you don't, well it's not too late to call it off"

"Of Course I want to marry Derek. I love him."

"So you keep saying, but I've never heard you say "I'm IN LOVE with him"

"Nae, you can't keep saying these things. The bachelorette party, I was drunk, you shouldn't have taken what I said seriously"

"Addie, you told me that you have only ever shared passion with one man and that man isn't Derek, so I have to ask again do you really think you should be marrying him"

"Please just stop, you are supposed to be my best friend, I am about to marry the man every girl dreams of marrying so please, enough already. I just want to go and get married"

"Ok Ok, don't get all huffy, it's just I think if you were truly head over heels in love with Derek you wouldn't feel the need to get so defensive. Beside you never told me the name of this one man who you shared passion with? What happened to him? Why aren't you with him now? And more importantly why didn't I not know about him until last weekend at the bachelorette party"

"NAOMI please just stop, I love you I really do but don't do this to me now, I want to marry Derek, I am going to marry Derek and I am going to be so happy. Being part of the Shepherd family is so wonderful, and now I'm going to be a part of it. I can't wait. So please no more questions and no more doubts. I know what I'm doing"

Just then Sam Knocked on the door and walked in.

"Addison everyone is waiting"

"Ok let's go" she smiled as she linked her arm in Sam's.

Naomi went ahead of them and stood at the beginning of the aisle. John Lennon's "Stand by me" began to play as first Naomi then Addison and Sam began their walk down the aisle.

**1 Hour earlier**

Mark was miserable, had been for a whole year now. It had been so difficult to see Addison and Derek together, he found himself making excuses not to be with them together. He still made plenty of time for Derek, but he couldn't see Addison it just hurt too much. Not that anybody would know it.

Mark had learnt from an early age that you did not show any emotion that was a sign of weakness. Mark was an only child and he, like Addison lost his mother, not through death; Mark's mother just up and left one day when Mark was 6 he doesn't have very many memories of her. His mother has never made any contact since then. Mark's father left his only son to his own devices along with Maids and a Nanny, whilst he was busy working.

Maybe that was the connection both Mark and Addison had, they had both learnt to be independent and not rely on anyone. They both knew that there connection was much more than that. However their similar backgrounds, both being trust fund babies, and never having been shown any maternal or paternal love was just the beginning of how drawn to each other they were.

Now here he was sitting in the car on the way to the church to see his best friend someone that he considered his brother, marry the only woman he had ever loved. Mark knew there would never be another woman for him. Addison was it end of story.

"So how ya feelin'" Mark asked trying to sound casual

"Good, yep good, this is what I want. Addison and I are going to be happy together"

"Yeah course you are" Mark replied. He had become quite a good actor over the last year in particular.

Derek had noticed that Mark was always pulling out of dinners and parties at the last minute, and avoiding Addison a lot of the time. One day Derek had had enough and called him on it. What else could Mark do but revert back to the way things used to be before he fell in love with her, as hard as it was, the last thing he wanted was Derek to get suspicious of why he didn't want to be around his fiancé.

The car pulled up at the church and they got out and made their way into the church to wait for Addison and for the wedding to begin.

'It's not too late to pull out buddy" Mark said jokingly. After all that was what was expected of him. Everyone thought Mark was just the joker, cocky playboy who could think of nothing worse than getting married. That was his coping mechanism; let everyone believe he didn't have a heart.

"Oh Shut up Mark, Addison fits perfectly into my family; she is the woman every man dreams of marrying, well maybe except you. She is smart and pretty."

_Yeah didn't exactly hear the words, I am so crazy in love with her that I can't think straight when she is near me. Because __fuck__ that is how she affects me._

Just than John Lennon's "Stand by me" started

"I don't know why Addison loves this song" Derek whispered to Mark

"Beats me" Mark replied

_If you listened to the __words,__ you would know. If you knew her at all you would know. This song is about standing by someone regardless of how hard things get. __You're__ so lucky Derek and you don't even know it._

After Naomi had made her way down the aisle Addison clutched Sam's arm and began to walk down the aisle towards Derek. She looked at him and gave a small smile underneath her veil.

She wore a simple but elegant Vera Wang wedding gown made of Ivory silk, with the smallest amount of beading, with a small train and a chapel length veil. Her hair was tied up with a few pieces falling loosely on the side of her face. To say she was breath taking would have been an understatement.

As she continued her walk up the aisle, she turned her attention to Derek's right and locked eyes with Mark. Her heart started beating faster. The intensity in his eyes nearly made her stop breathing. It was like they were pleading with her to not go through with this.

_God will Mark always have this effect on me. He looks so gorgeous in that suite, oh who am I kidding he looks gorgeous in everything and in nothing. Oh did I really just think that. Addison __STOP and__ focus, this is your wedding day, you CAN NOT be __fantasying__ about sex with the best man_

Addison finally tore her eyes away from Mark and focused again on Derek. Derek was the one she was marrying. However, Derek never made her heart race; Derek never made her feel like the only woman on the planet. But didn't Mark have that effect on every woman? That was what every nurse at the hospital said. They all swooned over the gorgeous plastic surgeon.

When Sam gave Addison to Derek and the minister began the service, Mark felt as though his whole world was coming to an end. When the Minister pronounced them Husband and Wife, Mark felt tears begin to sting his eyes. He quickly brushed them away. Mark Sloan DID NOT CRY. He couldn't watch them kiss either. He knew everyone expected a smart ass comment from him about the length of the kiss but he just couldn't do it, because he was too busy staring at his polished shoes.

Once outside the church everyone was congratulating the happy couple, he waited his turn, hugged Derek with a masculine slap on the back and moved to Addison.

He kissed her quickly and lightly on the cheek, he moved his mouth to her ear and whispered. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I hope he knows how lucky he is"

"Oh Mark, Thank you" It was all she could say. They locked eyes for a split second before the next person in the line wanted to congratulate her.

After the photos had been taken and Mark had been at his witty and charming best, he was exhausted; acting took it out of him and today he had to bring out the Academy Award winning performance.

Mark had 4 coping mechanisms for any situation. With his feelings for Addison he needed to draw on all 4. He had adopted these self preservation tactics for a very long time. 1. Put in extra effort and study at work – Not possible tonight. 2. Go to the Gym and beat the crap out of the punching bag – Also not possible tonight. 3. Get drunk – Definitely do-able tonight and 4. Probably his favourite – Get Laid also should be possible tonight.

Now onto the Reception.

**A/N: Ok so what did you think? Please review, feedback is welcome along with any suggestions.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks so much for your reviews. It certainly helps motivate me to write more. I hope you like the next chapter****. Again the stuff in italics are**** the**** characters thoughts.**

**THE WEDDING – PART 2 THE RECEPTION**

Mark had 1 more obligation as the best man to fulfil that night. Once his speech was done he could concentrate on getting really drunk. He had already set his sights on Derek's cousin Emily from Boston for after the reception. She wasn't aware of that yet. He smirked to himself at the thought; he always got the girl... well with the exception of the one he really wanted.

Addison couldn't believe what a whirlwind the day had been. As fiercely independent as she was, just like any woman she had her insecurities. Addison just did a better job than most of hiding them. Addison's biggest insecurity was not feeling worthy of being part of a loving family. She had been dismissed her whole life by her father and brother. Nothing she did was good enough and over the years believed it to be true. Now Derek's whole family embraced her. Not only did she have a husband but she now had 4 sisters as well. She should be the happiest woman in the world, so why should it bother her that Mark was flirting with Emily?

Mark stood and made the first of the speeches for the night.

"For those of you who don't know me, my name is Mark Sloane. Derek and I have been friends since grade school and I know just about everything there is to know about him, but I won't embarrass him by telling tales about things he has done. But I will say that I love him, and his whole family for kind of adopting me over the years. Now Addison, we all met in Med school and like all heterosexual males thought she was absolutely gorgeous. (Pause for laugh)

Of course when Derek told me he wanted to ask her out, I laughed in his face and told him she was way out of his league. But he proved me wrong not only did he get a 1st date with her he also managed somehow to convince her to marry him. (More laughing). I can honestly say that I am truly happy for both of them and wish them many years of happiness" Mark lied without making eye contact with Addison once.

The band was playing the bridal waltz and Addison and Derek took the dance floor, followed by Naomi and Mark.

"She looks so happy doesn't she Mark" Naomi said

"Yeah, I guess she does" Mark said off handedly

Derek moved his arms around Addison and held her tighter. She looked up into his eyes and smiled. She felt so safe in his arms. The song came to an end and couples changed partners. Mark excused himself from Naomi as Sam came to claim a dance from his wife. Mark went in search of Victoria, Derek's mother; he had always looked towards her as his own mother and knew she had no one to dance with.

"Oh Mark, I'm so glad Derek and Addison are married, she makes him so happy" Victoria gushed as Mark twirled her around the dance floor.

"Yeah, I'm sure they will be happy together" Mark agreed. He can't remember ever telling so many lies in 1 night. Was he really becoming that good of an actor that he was actually starting to believe his own lies?

"Mark, can you dance with Addie and let me have a dance with my mom?" Derek asked as he let go of Addison.

"Sure" Mark said.

Mark put his left arm around Addison's waist and took her right hand in his. Her left arm came up to his right shoulder. They began to move to the music. Neither of them said anything for a while, they just got lost in each other and the music. The song that was playing was 'Truly, madly deeply" by Savage Garden. Neither of them would ever be able to listen to that song again without thinking of this very moment.

Without thinking Addison rested her head on his broad shoulder and he instinctively pulled her closer. Addison's eyes fluttered shut she didn't want to forget this moment. She knew it was wrong to feel the way she did in Mark's arms but right now, she couldn't think of anything else but HIM and how good he felt.

Mark felt the same tingling sensation he always felt when she was in his arms, he let himself imagine for those brief minutes that it was he who she had married only hours ago, that this was their wedding dance. She lifted her head and briefly touched his face. The look that they shared was so intimate; it was like they belonged together.

Addison was the first to avert her eyes.

"Mark... we shouldn't ...be..."

"I know" he whispered softly

"These feelings we have... I just... they will pass won't they?"

"I hope so Addie, I really do, because I don't want to feel this ache and pain for the rest of my life"

"Oh Mark; please don't say that, it hurts me so much to know that you are hurting right now"

"I know, but that's just the way it is. You're Derek's wife now but I can't just turn off my feelings Addie, I hope I can in time, but right now it's not that easy"

"I understand, I just want you to be happy Mark, I really do"

Mark briefly touched her cheek and smiled softly at her.

"You really have no idea how amazing you are do you? How incredibly beautiful you are inside and out"

"Thank you. Why don't you let anyone else see this kind gentle side of yours? Why do you only show people the arrogant you"

"It's just easier, you have your way of dealing with your insecurities and I have mine. I don't let people in; to scared I guess that they won't like me"

"Mark that is so not true you are an amazing man, who I care about more then you, can know"

"Addie please stop, don't say things like that, it just makes it harder for me to move on and I have to move on, you're Derek's wife now, and I respect that."

The song was nearly finished and he pulled her closer for one last moment, one last embrace. He felt her tremble slightly, as goose bumps appeared on her arms. He had always had that effect on her. She may be married to his best friend but her body still reacted to his every touch. They locked eyes once more and their lips brushed against each other's in a delicate "friendly" kiss. They pulled away from each other.

"Congratulations Addie, I hope you get everything you want" Mark said softly as Derek approached.

"Thank you Mark" She said just as softly.

"Hey can I have my wife back now?" Derek said

"Absolutely" Mark said a little to confidently

The only person who seemed to notice Mark and Addison's exchange was Naomi. She and Addison had been friends for a very long time and she knew her friend well. Naomi had the awful feeling that perhaps Mark was the one she had shared passion with. _My god I hope not Addie, this can only end badly if it is._

"Hey are you Ok?" Derek asked

"Of course I'm just a little tied; it's been a very big day. Overwhelming really. I have a new name and new family. It's a lot to take in"

"Well we can get out of here soon and we can go to bed" He said smugly.

"Mmm Dr Shepherd are you propositioning me?"

"Yes Dr Shepherd I am"

Normally a woman would be thrilled with the anticipation of newlywed sex, but all Addison could do in that moment was think about Mark.

"Looks like Mark is going to be leaving with Emily soon" Derek said watching his best friend lay on the charm.

"Looks that way" Addison agreed.

The reception came to an end and Derek and Addison left and made their way to the honeymoon suite of the Waldorf Astoria Hotel on Central Park. The last thing Addison saw as she turned around was Mark kissing Emily. She knew right there and then that her decision to marry Derek was the right one. Mark was a playboy always would be.

Addison just didn't realise that the only reason Mark did what he did was to help him cope with the pain of Addison never being his.

**A/N: Ok please be honest and let me know what you think. Was it ****believable?**** Was Mark just a little to un-Mark like? **** And is Addison being too selfish. I love Addison my absolute fave character so I'm trying to have readers be sympathetic to her, and not hate her **** Please review and let me know!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: OK so there is a lot of dialogue in this chapter. Hope you like it**

**2 Years later – Naomi and Sam's Farwell party**

"I can't believe he brought her" Addison whined to Naomi and Savvy

"I can't believe he is still with her" Savvy added

"Yeah how long has it been 6 weeks?"Naomi asked

"9 actually" Addison amended

"hmp maybe she's the one" Savvy said

"Oh please she may be the one for right now, there isn't a ONE for Mark Sloan" Naomi said

"God she must be all of 21" Addison said with disgust

"Why are we even talking about this and Addie since when do you care so much" Savvy eyed her friend.

"I don't, I'm just saying... look I have to spend more time with him then you guys do, it would just be helpful if I got along with his girlfriend."

"Yeah well if I didn't know better I'd think you were jealous" Savvy continued

"Good thing you know better" Addison answered. _Careful Addison you can't let anyone know how you STILL feel about Mark. I just need to stop this. I want to stop __these __fee__lings I still have for him__. Derek__ just think about how much you love Derek._

Savvy was clearly bored with the conversation and now left to talk to other people. Naomi was quiet, she knew why Addison felt the way she did. Not that they had ever talked about it. Naomi had wanted to bring the subject up so many times but in the end couldn't bring herself to do it. She would never forget the look in Addison and Mark's eyes when they looked at each other whilst dancing at the wedding. If Addison wanted her to know something she would tell her. Talking about it would just open up Pandora's Box.

"Do you know Mark isn't coming to the Shepherds for Christmas this year? It will be the first year he won't be there" Addison said sadly

"Addie, Mark has his own life, I think it's great that he isn't leaning on you and Derek so much these days" Naomi said

"Yeah of course you're right" Addison said wanting to change the subject "So I can't believe you're moving to L.A."

"I know next week. I think it's going to be good for us. I think L.A will be a great place to bring up Maya"

Mark stood quietly talking to Lucy, his new girlfriend when he caught sight of Addison approaching them. It didn't matter how often he saw her, every single time his stomach did somersaults.

"Hey" Addison said

"Hey Addison it's good to see you again" Lucy replied sarcastically

Addison held out a platter of cheese and crackers.

"Oh no thanks, do you have any idea how much fat is in cheese? I mean in your line of work Addison it doesn't matter if you put on weight, but I certainly can't"

"Thanks for the tip, it must be so difficult standing in front of a camera all day, really hard work I'm sure" Addison replied

"Addison that is enough" Mark said

Addison smiled sweetly, popped a piece of Brie cheese in her mouth and walked away. She returned to the kitchen, picked up her glass of wine and walked outside.

"What the hell was that?" Mark said angrily shutting the door and walking outside.

"She started it" Addison said without turning to look at him.

"What is this Addison? High School?"

"Stop being so dramatic, I'm sure you will be finished with her soon enough, so it won't matter that we don't get along"

"Actually for your information Lucy and I are not "nearly finished" I'm going to meet her family at Christmas" He still had a raised voice

"Oh" was all Addison could manage. She was a little shocked that he had plans with her for Christmas.

"Look Addison you don't have to like Lucy, but you WILL be NICE to her. Do you understand?" Mark spoke to her as if she were a child.

"FINE, I will be nice, but you may want to have the same chat to her"

"She has a name Addison"

"Fine I will be nice to Lucy. Happy now"

"God you can be so frustrating. You don't get to be like this. You don't get to be jealous, this was your choice remember, you chose Derek instead of me. So you are not allowed to behave like this"

"I'm not jealous, Mark don't flatter yourself, I just think you could find someone better, someone with a brain"

"Just because Lucy is a model does not mean she is stupid"

"No well from the conversations I've had with her I beg to differ"

"It sucks doesn't it?" Mark asked in a softer voice

"What sucks Mark?"

"Thoughts, thoughts of the person you want to hold, touch, kiss and make love to is doing those things with someone else"

"I...I.. um.. Don't know what you are talking about" Addison Stammered

"Yes you do. You've thought about me having sex with Lucy and it is killing you. Well Addie welcome to my world. I've been living like that for years" Mark said in a voice barely above a whisper which did nothing to hide his sadness.

"Mark, God I'm so sorry, you're right it is none of my business. I don't have any claim on you; I have no right to think about you in any way other than friendship. If Lucy makes you happy, I will try and get along with her. I promise"

Addison sighed and looked up to see Derek in the window with a strange look on his face. Derek walked outside.

"Hey is everything OK?"Derek asked

"Of course" Addison replied

"Mark?" Derek said as he looked from one to the other.

"Yeah we were just having an argument about who was better U2 or The Beetles" Mark replied

"Are you sure?" Derek said unconvinced

"Yes of course, you know Mark and I always argue about silly things. It's what we do." Addison said hoping to convince her husband.

"Ok as long as you're alright" Derek said smiling at Addison.

All three of them walked inside and enjoyed the rest of the night.

2 days later Mark was looking out of his office window when he heard a knock on the door, he didn't turn around when the door opened he only heard the soft clacking of her heels and the smell of Chanel No 5.

"What do you want Addie" Mark said softly

"It's not ADDIE" Lucy emphasized Addie

Mark turned around and in fact saw Lucy standing in front of him.

"Sorry, it's just Addison wears that perfume. I guess I just..."

"You just what Mark, thought that Addison was coming here to profess her love for you? Are you so wrapped up in her that you honestly don't think any other woman in the world wears Chanel No 5?"

"What no you're being ridiculous. We had an argument, I thought she may have been coming to apologise. Obviously not. Anyway it's good to see you" Mark smiled and walked towards her

"Mark don't. You and I had fun, but we both know it's time to call it a day. I mean I can't compete with her."

"Lucy, there is nothing to compete with. There is nothing going on between me and Addison"

"Maybe not, but you want there to be. Don't you? Look I'm not going to say anything to anyone, but I'm not stupid, contrary to what Dr Montgomery-Shepherd thinks. I see the subtle looks you give her. The real reason she doesn't like me is because she wants you just as much as you want her. You know the whole situation is pretty fucked up. You know that right."

Mark was too tired to argue. Lucy was right. The situation was so fucked up and had been for so long now. Mark started to laugh.

"I don't know what to say Lucy. I'm sorry. You are a great girl and any man would be lucky to have you"

"Yeah I know which is why I won't be anyone's second choice. What are you going to do?"

"What I've been doing for years, admiring from a distance. She's married to my best friend; there is nothing that I can do. Just when I try to get over her, I get sucked back in."

"Well Good Luck Mark, I hope you get the girl one day. For what it's worth I actually think you suit each other"

"Yeah, so do I" Mark mumbled as he hugged Lucy for the last time and watched her leave.

And there it was. Alone again. _Damn you Addison. Am I destined to spend the rest of my life alone because I just can't get over you??_

**A/N****So hope you didn't mind the choice of perfume. It has been my favourite for years, thus my penname. ****Ok so this chapter was really just to build up a little more tension. Next chapter Addison starts to realise that she may have made the wrong choice.**** Please review and let me know what you think!!!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Ok so this chapter is set 7 years after Derek and Addison were married.**** Again the thoughts are in Italics, you should be able to figure out who they belong too.**** Hope you guys like it. Please give me any feedback.**

**5 ****YEARS****AFTER**** N****AOMI AND SAM'S****FAREWELL****-**** W****EEKEND IN THE HAMPTONS****- PART 1**

"Mark, do you have plans for the weekend?" Derek asked

"Uh No not really why?" Mark replied

"Addie and I are going to the house in the Hamptons, just thought you might want to come with us"

"Oh I don't know Derek, shouldn't you and Addie go alone. I mean you don't need me cramping your style"

"You won't be, those days are long over" Derek laughed

_Fuck Derek, you really don't have a clue do you. I mean if Addie was my wife I wouldn't want you tagging along for the weeken__d. I'd want__ her all to myself._

"Um well have you asked Addie she might not want me to go?"

"Look Mark, you and Addie are the two most important people in my life, and we haven't spent much time together lately I just thought it would be a good idea, you know hang out like we used to. I mean we all used to be such close friends"

"You know how it is, we are all busy with our own lives, we are all just doing our own thing, and I guess our schedules just don't give us a chance to do that anymore"

"Yeah, Yeah I know but you two were always hanging out together, I was the one that felt left out, and now I can hardly get you two in the same room"

"Oh Ok well, um sure if Addie is cool with it, I'll follow you up in my car on Saturday morning"

_Great just what I need a weekend away with__ the woman I still desire more than anyone in the world and the one I can never have__ , excellent I can hardly wait._

"Good it's settled then"

Addison and Derek were sitting in the car driving to the Hamptons in relative silence. She was still pissed at him for inviting Mark. Not that Mark and her weren't getting along, they were, they had a big talk after the whole Lucy incident years ago and tried really hard to go back to being the friends they were before they realised the feelings they had for each other were much more than friendship.

It was still hard sometimes, whenever he brought a date to various get togethers Addison always felt a pang of regret. It was past jealousy now. Yes it was regret, regret for a life that she could have had with Mark. She had been married to Derek for 7 years now and he had started to pull away from her. He was so busy at work, it had become his priority.

Addison had always known that the love they shared was one of friendship and security and dare she admit convenience. Derek offered her stability and a family whom she loved greatly, a family she herself had never experienced. She offered Derek the perfect Doctors wife, beautiful, smart, and from a "good family" not to mention an impressive surgeon in her own right.

_Mark god how am I going to stand being so close to you this weekend. It should be getting easier to no__t__ want you, want to touch you and kiss you, have you hold m__e in those strong arms of yours, but it isn't.__ Fuck it is goi__ng to be a freaking nightmare of a weekend!!!_

All 3 of them arrived and unpacked and started to organise some lunch. After lunch Mark and Derek went to do some fishing whilst Addison laid out on a deck chair by the pool in her bathing suit and read a book.

Around 4.00pm the men arrived home. Derek didn't look impressed and he was dreading telling Addie, he knew she was going to be even more pissed off than ever.

"Addie, Honey I'm really sorry, I got an urgent call from the hospital, I've got to get back, there has been a subway accident and there are multiple head injuries. I need to get back straight away"

"Of course, I understand" She said a little sadly

Mark could see the hurt in her eyes. He was annoyed with Derek, it's not like he is the only neurosurgeon in New York. He didn't have to go, he wasn't on call.

"Well do you want me to come with you?" she asked

"No of course not, you stay here with Mark, you can just come back with him tomorrow afternoon. No point all of us having a bad weekend. Besides, you wanted a weekend away to relax so you should."

Addison didn't even bother to argue with him. He had made his mind up. Derek was packing his things and heading out the door. He quickly dropped a kiss on Addison's cheek said a quick goodbye to Mark, grabbed the car keys and left.

"Addie, we will give him an hour's head start and we can just go back ourselves" Mark said. The temptation of being alone with her was too much. He had to get out of there.

'Oh well you can go, I want to stay, I need a break, I can just hire a car and head back tomorrow afternoon." Addison said sadly.

"I don't want to leave you here alone"

"Well stay, we can play cards, and of course I'll kick your ass, order in some Chinese"

"Oh yeah from that great place, I love their Lemon Chicken" Mark Added

"I still love Lemon Chicken too" She said smiling

"Hey about that kicking my ass at cards, in your dreams Montgomery" Marks competitive nature coming out in him. He also hated using her married name. She would always be Addison Montgomery to him.

A few hours, bottle of red wine, Chinese food and some serious card playing later, they were having such a good time they hadn't realised how late it had gotten. Mark had just won the last had of poker and Addison was not happy, she was just as competitive as he was.

"Go on Say it" He teased

"No"

"Addie they are our rules"

"Alright you are the best card player ever" She said barely above a whisper

"Sorry didn't quite hear that" He said loving watching her admit defeat.

"Ugh you are the best card player ever" She said a little loader

"Ok I'm gonna need to hear it one more time" He said smugly

"Not on your life" She said before she got up from her chair.

"Oh yes you are" He said as he got up and pulled her into a playful hug, and started to tickle her sides.

"Stop, stop" she squealed

"Say it"

"OK, Ok you are the BEST CARD PLAYER EVER" She started to laugh. Addison couldn't remember a time when she had had such a good time. She never had fun with Derek. Mark always knew how to have fun.

"Good and don't you forget it" He said giving her that smirk of his. Neither of them realised that he was still holding her. The tickling had stopped but he hadn't removed his hands from her body.

They stopped laughing and moved to sit on the sofa. Mark pulled her closer, and held her hand, they both knew they shouldn't be doing this but it felt so natural and neither one of them made any attempt to move.

Addison turned to look at Mark. The laughter from his eyes was now gone and had been replaced by want and longing. Derek never looked at her like that. But then again Addison had never had the chemistry with Derek that she had with Mark.

"I had a really good time" Addie whispered as she had moved even closer to him

"Me too, it's been so long since we have done this" He smiled at her.

Suddenly before either one of them knew what was happening, they both looked into each other eyes, and Addison glanced down at Marks lips and felt the butterflies form in her stomach. Mark reached up to caress her face, and felt that same old tingling sensation he always got when he touched her.

At the same time they leant in and their lips met. Softly at first, both a little unsure as to how to proceed. Mark gently sucked on her bottom lip, as Addison opened her mouth a little more to graze her tongue across his top lip. That was all they both needed as a sign it was what they both wanted.

Mark pulled Addison onto his lap and she straddled him, moving her hands though his hair across his face, and finally down to his very muscular chest, never leaving her mouth from his. Marks hands travelled down her back and then up again to taggle his fingers through her hair before he finally rested his hands on the side of her face.

Their tongues entwined with each other's and Addison moaned softly into his mouth which only tuned him on more. The kissing intensified; they were both so hungry for each other.

Mark pulled away and tried to regain his breath.

"Addie, we should stop, I mean we both know what is going to happen if we don't"

Addison removed herself from Mark's lap and sat down next to him catching her breath.

"Mark, I don't want to stop" She said in a quiet voice

"Addie baby, believe me my heart and my body doesn't want to stop either but we both know we can't do this"

"I know but that still doesn't mean I don't want you, Mark I can't stop thinking about you. I want you, I desire you, I fantasize about you, I need you." She finished before getting up and walking up stairs to go to bed.

Mark sat on the sofa digesting her words. It was everything he has wanted to hear for so long, with the exception of the words from her mouth "I'm leaving Derek". It took him a split second, before he was on his feet and following her up the stairs.

He caught up with her on the landing. "Addison" He said as she turned to look at him

They looked into each other's eyes for a split second before they fell into each other's arms and began kissing with years of pent up passion for the other. Tongues entwined once again and hands began to wander over each other's bodies. Mark moved his mouth from hers and whispered in her ear. "I can never say no to you"

With that Addison moaned and pulled him into another heated kiss. The stumbled into the guest room, where they began to undress in a frenzy of passion and desire.

They made love with such desire and want. The physical, mental and emotional connection they had spilled over into sensual and mind blowing sex that neither of them had ever felt with anyone else.

After both of them reached their shuttering climaxes numerous times that night, they began to drift off to sleep as the sun was rising. They were wrapped in each other's bodies in the most intimate way. Nothing for either of them had ever felt so right.

"I love you Addie, always have, always will" He whispered in her ear.

"I love you too Mark, always have always will" She replied smiling, before they both fell into the deepest and most peaceful sleep they had had in years.

**A/N: I hope you liked this chapter. I enjoyed writing it, so needed Mark and Addie to have some intimacy. The Next chapter deals with the ****aftermath**** of their indiscretion. Please review****. Feedback and ideas**** are most welcome. **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks again for the reviews. Now on to the aftermath of the indiscretion:**

**WEEKEND AT THE HAMPTONS – PART 2**

Addison could feel a very muscular chest pressed up against her back and an arm wrapped around her waist, as she began to wake. She was confused for a few moments as she tried to work out where she was, and realising that the arm resting on her stomach was not her husbands, everything came rushing back to her. _Mark_

Guilt started to wash over her as she turned over slightly. Mark was still sleeping, yet her movements began to wake him too. _Oh god my body is hurting, how__ can__all that sex__ ma__ke my body ache? P__erhaps because you haven't had such physical and passionate sex for ... well since the last time you had sex with Mark. The things that man can do with his __hands, mouth__, tongue and what's between his legs oh god I'm getting turned on again just thinking about it._

Mark woke and the first thing he saw was the woman he loved. _This has to be a dream, she can't really be with me, are we in the guest room at the Hamptons??_

"Mmm good morning" She said lazily

"Actually I think its afternoon" He said as he looked at the clock on the bedside table. It said 12.15pm

'Oh Shit, we have to get back to New York"

"I know" he said sadly leaning in to kiss her "I have wanted to kiss you first thing in the morning forever"

"Mark, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know, but right now, I want to make love to you again"

Mark began kissing her neck as his hand began to caress her breasts. She moaned softly, all pretence of protesting ran straight out of her mind, what he was doing was all she could think about. Her hands travelled around to his back and began to run them up and down his body.

Just as Mark entered her the house phone began to ring.

"Ignore it" she breathed in his ear. He began to thrust harder as her hips rose up to meet him and her legs wrapped around his waist.

Mark groaned as she talked dirty in his ear. The phone continued ringing. When the house phone stopped, about 5 minutes later, Marks cell phone rang, which was on the bedside table. Addison tensed, but Mark told her the same thing she told him and to ignore it.

Moments later, they both came in another intense climax. After their breathing returned, Mark lay next to Addison and picked up his cell phone to check the missed call. It was Derek.

"I should call him back" Mark said softly

"He is probably wondering why I'm not answering my phone" Which was still in Addison's handbag.

Addison put a little distance between them as Mark hit the redial button.

"Hey Derek"

"Hey, did I wake you, you sound half asleep"

"Um yeah"

"What did you two do last night? Did you drink all of my scotch? Cos if you did you had better replace it" Derek said laughing

Mark shot Addison an extreamly guilty look as he racked his brain for an excuse as to why he was still in bed at midday.

"Ah yeah Addie and I had a big night. Lots to drink stayed up playing cards. She is probably still asleep too"

"Yeah she must be, I tried the house phone and her cell"

"Oh Ok well when she wakes up I'll get her to call you"

"That would be good, is she still pissed with me for leaving yesterday afternoon?"

"I don't know man, you are gonna have to talk to her about that"

"Of course, can you just ask her to call?"

"Sure"

"See you later this afternoon, I'm just heading home for a shower and some sleep. I've been in the OR all night and I need some serious sleep"

"Yeah well we will see you later this afternoon, See ya" Mark finished and hung up.

'Oh god Mark what did he say?"

"He thinks we had a big night drinking, that's why you didn't answer the phone. We are going to have to go with that story. Sorry I know you hate lying, it was all I could think of"

"That's Ok, it's not like we can tell him the truth"

"No, so what are we going to do? I really don't want to go back to not having you completely"

"Mark, what are you suggesting an affair" she said quietly

"No! I want you to leave him"

"What? How can you say that?"

"Because I'm tired of playing games, Addie. I don't want to share you with him. Look me in the eye and tell me you feel the same way about him that you feel about me"

"I can't. I don't feel the same way about him. You know that"

"So stop this insanity and leave him"

"I need time to think"

"Think, what is there to think about. We have wanted this since... god since before you were even engaged to Derek"

"Ok" she said softly

"What"

"I said OK, I'll just have to think about how I'm going to tell him"

"Do you mean it? We can be together? Addie we can go wherever you want, we can move to L.A or the UK or Europe, hell we can move to the outback of Australia if that is where you want to go."

Addison laughed and leaned in to kiss him.

"Let's have a shower and we can work something out" She said.

Instead of feeling guilty like she thought she would, all Addison felt was relief. Relief because Mark had waited, he still wanted her just as much as she wanted him. The feelings they have for each other didn't go away like they thought they would. They needed to be together. They needed to spend their lives together. She cared for Derek, she did but she had never been deeply in love with him like she was with Mark.

They decided on the drive back to New York that Addison would leave Derek, and move out into an apartment of her own. They would wait the appropriate time then they would both move cross Country, probably L.A.

Mark's car pulled up out of the front of the Brownstone.

"What are you doing?" Addison asked as Mark got out of the car too.

"I'm not letting you face Derek alone. I'm feeling just as bad as you are right now. I'm 50 of this. I have to go with you"

"That's sweet Mark; you know I'm not telling him tonight"

"I know, but I need to see him too, I need to... I don't know feel guilty for not being a better friend." He said sadly

"I know. It's going to be so hard"

Addison and Mark walked into the house. He removed his hand from the small of her back as soon as Derek spotted them.

"There you are" Derek said smiling at Addison

"Hey, how was the surgery" Addison replied sounding casual

"Yeah it went well, Hey Mark how's the hangover"

"Not too bad thanks buddy"

Derek smiled at them both. He was so happy that his two favourite people were getting along again.

"Baby, I'm so sorry I left yesterday I really am" Derek said as he put his arms around his wife.

"I understand" _God now he is apologising to me. Derek I fucked your best friend last night I don't deserve your apology._

'No it was wrong. I've started taking you for granted and it has to stop. I love you and I need to start showing you" Derek said as he pulled her closer. "And I have some good news Nancy is in Labour in Boston, we are going to be an Aunt and Uncle again very soon"

"Oh Derek, that's great, we have to see if we can get some time off in the next day or so, we should fly up to see them" Addison said happily.

Right there in that moment Mark knew Addison wouldn't leave Derek. She wouldn't want to hurt him. The Shepherd's were the family Addison craved. If Mark was being honest with himself, he didn't want to hurt Derek either. As much as he loved her, Derek was his family and brothers didn't betray each other by stealing their wives. It was over for them, before it ever really could start.

Mark didn't know what hurt more. Seeing Addison in Derek's arms, or knowing they were destined to never be together.

**A/N: So I hope you liked it. I had to get Addison and Derek back together just for a little while. Don't worry Mark and Addison can't resist each other for too long?**** Also try not to feel too sorry for Derek; he is going to start to be indifferent despite all his promises. **** Please review!!!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: OK so this is set another 18****months after Mark and Addison realise they can't be together. I hope you like it and please review. Suggestions or ideas are welcome.**

**PANIC ATTACK AND A ANOTHER RELAPSE**

Mark was happy, well as happy as he could be under the circumstances. He had finished his residency and was now in Private Practice. He spent half of his time in his office seeing patients and the other half still performing surgery at Mount Sinai. With the help of a very expensive shrink he came to the conclusion that even though there would never be another woman he would want to spend the rest of his life with he could still have a good life.

Addison and Derek were still working at the hospital. Even so they were barely seeing each other anymore. Derek had become so focused on his career he forgot all about his promises to Addison a mere 18 months earlier. As a result Addison had almost given up on having him notice her. She had made her bed she had to lye in it. She had been studying for her fellowship in Neonatal surgery to keep herself even busier.

Mark and Addison never discussed what happened in the Hamptons and continued to be friendly around each other just like they had so many times before. This time however it was easier not to see each other as much, they both kept themselves busy, avoiding temptation at all costs.

Mark had just finished his morning of surgery and was catching up with Derek for a quick lunch in the cafeteria. It had been a long time since they had the chance to do this. Addison saw them sitting together laughing and told herself again that they had made the right decision.

"Hey" she said as she reached the table

"Hey" Derek responded, he didn't even look up at her and just continued talking to Mark. Mark noticed the look on her face. She was hurt, but not like she used to be. It was almost a look of defeat. Mark couldn't believe how indifferent Derek could be.

"Hey there Addie, you going to join us" Mark offered

"Ah, no, I've got to check up on some post-op patients, just thought I would say hi"

"Oh Ok" Mark replied, still noticing that Derek didn't even look at her.

"Will you be home tonight Derek?"

"I'll see I've got a pretty full day" he replied

"All right, I'll see you both later" Addison replied and walked away.

"Derek, that was kinda rude. What's going on? Are you two fighting?"

"No"

"Well what was that, you barely looked at her"

"Oh Mark, it's nothing, Addison is just... busy with study"

"Derek, I think it's more than that. She doesn't look like herself, and she has lost weight"

"Has she? I hadn't noticed"

_For fuck's sake Derek!! She is your wife you can't ignore her._

"Well I think she has. Look I'm gonna get going, check on my patients, and then head back to the office for some paperwork." Mark said.

"Sure, I'll give you a call next week. See if we can manage to get to a Yankees game" Derek said.

An hour later Mark couldn't shake off the uneasy feeling he had. He decided against his better judgement to go and check on Addison. He knocked on her office door and found that the door was locked.

"Addison? It's Mark let me in"

Mark heard the click on the door unlocking and was in no way prepared for what he saw. Addison was pacing around the room, her eyes were wide, she was wring her hands and she was struggling to breath.

"Addison, are you having another panic attack" The question was stupid as it was obvious that was exactly what was happening.

She nodded her head as she continued pacing.

"Are they in your bag?" Mark asked

Again she nodded her head. Mark went to her desk and opened her handbag, taking out the small bottle of Xanax pills she had prescribed for her by her doctor when these panic attacks occurred. He handed her one with a glass of water.

"How long has this been going on for" He asked trying to calm her

"They just started again" She managed to get out. Suddenly she couldn't hear anymore, all she could hear was a loud ringing in her ears as she became overcome with paralysing fear.

"Addie, Ok I need you to calm down, I need you to sit down and breath" Mark said in a firm but kind voice

"I can't I...I need to ... to go...outside" She managed

"No you don't you are perfectly safe here. I'm here; nothing is going to happen to you. I need you to sit down"

Addison just nodded her head and sat down. She was still wringing her hands and her legs would not stop shaking.

"Look at me, Ok I need you to do a couple of things for me, I need you to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Big deep breaths Addie." Mark said as he demonstrated what he needed her to do.

"Then I need you to listen to my voice and look in my eyes, and keep breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth"

Addison held his hands and looked at him as she began to do as he asked. Mark told her stories about walking through Central Park in the fall and other things he knew she liked to help calm her down. Half an hour later with his help along with the Xanax she had finally calmed down.

Mark had his arm around her now, as she laid her head on his chest. They were sitting on the small sofa she had in her office.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked softly

"Mark, I'm sorry you shouldn't have seen that again" She added

"Don't be silly, I .. I just wish I could do something. When did they start again?"

"About 12 months ago, I mean I'm not having them that often but... still they are awful and I get so scared."

"I take it Derek still doesn't know"

"No, I could never tell him. He expects... well he just expects me to be perfect."

"Addison, that's ridiculous no one is perfect. He wouldn't think that"

"Yes he would. He thinks I'm strong, and I am for the most part. This last year has just been so difficult"

"Addison, you have to do something about it. These panic attacks are caused why? I'll tell you why because you are so miserable"

"I know, I just feel like my life is spinning out of control. These exams are coming up, I'm feeling the pressure of being one of the first women to complete this fellowship and things with Derek are... well I feel like we aren't even friends anymore let alone anything else"

"Oh honey" Mark said as he pulled her even closer.

Mark began to stroke her hair; she turned to look at him. There it was again. Feeling his eyes lock with her own, the same old butterflies began to flutter in her stomach and she found herself being drawn in to him again.

Mark glanced down at her lips. He wanted to kiss her again. She was everything to him. He wanted to love her but at the same time he wanted to protect her from all of the demons that she faced.

Addison reached up and touched his face as their eyes continued to communicate their feelings. At the same time they both leaned in as their lips brushed softly against the others. The kiss was slow and soft before Mark deepened the kiss by teasing her bottom lip with his tongue. She opened her mouth a little wider so his tongue could gain entry to her mouth.

Mark's hands travelled down her back to pull her flush against his chest. Addison locked her arms around his neck, and ran her fingers through his hair. They continued to kiss as their tongues duelled and a moan escaped from Marks mouth into hers.

They pulled away to catch their breath and Addison rested her head on his chest. She was beginning to feel sleepy, a side effect of the Xanax

"We have to stop" Addison said sadly

"I know, just a small relapse" He said trying to make light of yet another stolen kiss.

"Mark it's not just physical is it"

"No, it never has been. What we have is the whole thing."

"I'm just starting to realise that. For years I wanted to believe that is was just physical, you know just about 2 people being sexually attracted to the other, but I don't think that now"

"Yeah I know, that's what I told myself too when we first got together, but it isn't Addie it's so much more"

"I get that now. Other than Naomi you are the only one I trust, as far as my panic attacks, my shortcomings, my secrets, you know them all Mark. These are things my husband should know, yet I've never been comfortable or secure enough with him to tell him."

"Oh baby, we can't keep doing this. It's just wrong. I still love you but until you have left Derek we can't keep torturing ourselves."

"I know, I'm not being fair. I'm so tired I need to sleep"

Mark got up, as he helped Addison lay down, he grabbed a blanket from the cupboard and laid it over her. Addison was nearly asleep when Mark leant over and kissed her again softly on the lips.

"You call me if you need anything. I'm always here for you" Mark said as he got up to leave

"Mark" She said as she propped up on her elbow. "Thank you for being here today to help me. I don't know what I would do without you. I love you, don't ever forget that"

"I love you too" Mark said as he unlocked her office and left quietly.

**A/N: I was a little unsure about this chapter. I don't want to make Addison out to be weak, but I think everything that has happened has started to take a toll on her. Mark of course is there to rescue her. I'm a sucker for the whole damsel in distress thing. Anyway please review and let me know what you think.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks so much for all of ****y****our reviews. I am so happy that there are people out there that are interested in the Mark and Addie back story. (Even if it is in my imagination)**** So this chapter is a two parter. Basically it picks up after Marks leaves Addie's office after her panic attack and continues for the next two years before that FATEFUL NIGHT where Derek sees them in bed together. Again I have a slightly different twist on things. Enough of my ranting. On with the story.**

When Mark left Addison's office he was angry. Angry with Derek for not knowing his wife, angry with Addison for insisting on staying in a relationship where her husband didn't notice her anymore. Derek didn't notice that she didn't have the same sparkle in her eye, and her demeanour was so incredibly sad. Not to mention she had lost weight she could ill afford to lose. Mark was angry at himself for not being able to do anything about it.

However his anger for Addison didn't last long. It never did. He would do anything to insure her happiness, so he decided that despite how much he desired, wanted and loved her, right now what she needed was his friendship. He told her he would be there for her no matter what and that was exactly what he was going to do.

Over the next year and a half, Addison and Mark began to spend a lot of time together. Derek as usual was so wrapped up in his own world he didn't even realise they were seeing each other so regularly. Mark would have lunch in the cafeteria with Addison before his afternoon surgery list each Wednesday.

One afternoon, Derek stumbled across them laughing and only the briefest thought crossed his mind that he hadn't seen Addison laugh for a very long time. Other than that he thought nothing of it. He joined them and even then, he was oblivious to Marks soft smiles in his wives direction and his wives returned glances.

Seeing as though Derek didn't object, in fact it kept Addison from nagging him about spending more time together, Mark and Addison began spending even more time together. They spoke on the phone at least once a day, had dinner together most Friday nights, and continued lunch dates a few times a week when possible.

Before they knew it they had began their emotional affair all over again. They confided in each other, they laughed and talked about everything, and sometimes they both got a little flirty. They never become physical, well not anything more than a friendly kiss.

Derek was surprised to see Mark waiting at the entrance to the hospital. They began talking. Derek wanted to finish up some things before he finished for the day and asked why Mark was there.

"I'm waiting for Addie; we are going to see Phantom of the Opera. I know how many times can that woman see that play but apparently you refused to go so I'm it" Mark explained.

At that point a pretty nurse walked past.

"Good night Dr Shepherd" she said huskily

"Good night Sally" He replied as he checked out her ass as she left

"What the fuck was that Derek?" Mark had really had enough

"Nothing, just admiring the female form" Derek replied. "Hey it's not like you don't do it"

"Yeah well I'm not married to Addison. Have you looked at your wife lately? She makes "Sally" look pretty average" Mark said through clenched teeth.

"Yeah but Addison is high maintenance, pretty sure Sally would not be"

"You're a jackass Derek really. Addie is the kind of woman everyman wants. You don't have a clue how lucky you are do you?"

Before Derek could answer Addison showed up, looking breath taking for her "date" with Mark.

Derek gave Mark and Addison a curious look as they left the hospital for the play. He shook it off and returned to look at the surgery board. He had to check on his post op patients, do some paperwork and hoped to be home by 11.00pm.

Addison enjoyed seeing "Phantom" again even if Mark was completely board by it. During intermission Addison was in the ladies bathroom when a woman approached her.

"Excuse me, but I noticed you're here with Mark. How well do you know him?" Pretty blonde asked

"Ah, you know Mark?" Addison asked vaguely

"Mmm not really, we slept together about 3 weeks ago"

"Oh I see" was all Addison could manage to say.

"Just so you know, he is an amazing fuck, he really is I mean what that man can do with his hands well it should be illegal, mmm anyway just don't expect to hear from him again"

"Well, that's so kind of you, but this is actually our 3rd date. So I already know what those hands can do, and I'm pretty sure I will hear from him again" Addison said smugly. _God I have no right to lie like that. I have no right to be jealous of some girl he shacked up with 3 weeks ago. I mean he is single he is free to fuck whoever he wants. __I can't expect him to wait around for me forever. Can I??_

Addison left the bathroom and she was quietly seething.

"Took you long enough, I've been stuck here talking to the wife of Dr Evans, very fucking boring Addie. You owe me for this." Mark said annoyingly

"I just had an interesting conversation with a woman in the bathroom"

"Really, well I'm sure it was better than the conversation I've just had" Mark replied

"Mmm A pretty blonde woman told me that she had sex with you 3 weeks ago and that I should prepare myself for the fact that after you have taken me to bed I will never hear from you again"

"Look Addie this is a little uncomfortable. I don't want to talk to you about my sex life. Just as I don't want to know anything about yours and Derek's sex life"

"Non-existent sex life"

"What?"

"Derek and I we don't... haven't for... a long time"

"Oh god Addie, don't want to know. I just... what is wrong with him? I mean how could he not want to?" Mark was secretly happy yet dumbfounded by his friend's stupidity.

"I don't know, he just isn't that interested. He obviously doesn't find me attractive anymore" Addison said as she started to leave. She wasn't interested in the second part of the play now. She just wanted to get a drink then go home.

"Ok enough with the no talking" Mark said as they got out of the cab.

"I just want a drink" She replied as she walked into a bar not too far from her home.

"Addie, you have to stop this. I mean enough already, things have gotten so bad you don't even know what good is anymore"

"Yes I'm very well aware of that" She said calmly before she went to bar and ordered their drinks.

On her return, she noticed how the women all looked at Mark. Of course he was sinfully good looking that was a given, but this was the first time she noticed, really noticed just how many women wanted him. _Me included._

'Ok so what are you going to do" Mark inquired. Continuing "See here's the thing, I'm not prepared to sit by and watch you destroy your life, I do not want to be sitting in a bar in another year's time having this same conversation"

"Do you still love me?" Addison blurted out

"What? You know I do. I've never stopped" Mark said quietly

"Me too, love you I mean. So I guess that means we are back to square 1."

"Yeah 2 options. Option 1 you leave Derek, we would be together, Derek hates us. Option 2 you stay with Derek and we are miserable. They are great options aren't they" Mark said

"Well I'm proposing an option 3"

"Oh yeah what is option 3"

"Friends with Benefits"

"Friends with Benefits" Mark says smiling "Isn't that just a fancy way of putting affair?"

"No an affair would be if I was married, legally and technically I'm married. In the true sense of the word, well I have a housemate"

"So you would be Ok with this. We always said we would never do that"

"It's just in the interim. We begin option 3 whilst I make plans for option 1." She said smiling.

"Really, because after the whole Hamptons things a few years ago... I don't want to feel that hurt again, Addie I can't get my hopes and dreams shattered like that again"

"I'm so sorry, I should have left then, I really should have. I regret it. I love you Mark, I miss you so much when we are apart, and I just want to be with you now in every way"

Mark stood up, held out his hand, Addison put her hand in his and they left the bar. He pulled her close and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Let's get a cab, go back to my apartment and explore option 3" He whispered in her ear.

"Option 3 with a view to option 1" she replied

They both smiled at each other and Mark pulled her closer so her body was flush against his. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his face down to meet hers. She bit playfully on his bottom lip then ran her tongue over the same spot, remembering how much he loved to be kissed like that.

Mark ran his fingers through her hair and then he cupped her face as he kissed her deeper, pushing his tongue in her mouth to dual with hers.

Just as a cab pulled up for them to get in Addison's pager went off. There was an emergency that she was required for.

"Damn" she said as she tried to regain her breathing

"That fucking hospital is still ruining my sex life" Mark groaned

"Tell me about it" Addison replied

"This is not over. Tomorrow, I'll call you tomorrow"

"I'll call you when I'm leaving the hospital" Addison replied.

**A/N: Please review and let me know what you think. I hope that both characters came across as believable. So the next chapter will involve their 3 month affair before Derek catches them in bed together.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Thanks to all of you who keep reading this story. This is a continuation of Addison and Mark's agreement to go with Option 3. Hope you like it and please review.**

"Mark I really, really have to go" Addison said as she tried to get up from the bed and Mark's grasp.

"No you just got here" He whined

"I've been here for 2 hours. 1 hour and 58 minutes of that has been spent in this bed" She said smiling. Not remembering ever feeling so incredibly sated.

"But I haven't even done that thing that you like so much" Mark said as he began kissing her neck as she was trying to get up.

"Baby as much as I want you to do that thing I LOVE you to do, the sooner I get home and speak to Derek, the sooner we can start our life. Obviously not straight away but... well you know"

"Yeah" Mark stopped what he was doing and suddenly became serious. "Will you be ok?"

"Of course. You seem to have forgotten just how tough I am." Addison said smiling.

It was weird. Addison and Mark had resumed their affair for a week now and she didn't feel in anyway guilty. Her feelings for Mark were so pure and real that they just superseded absolutely everything. She couldn't remember a time when she felt so happy. A little clichéd but Mark was like her other half. She felt complete when she was with him.

As for Mark, he always knew he loved her, but the feelings he had for her overwhelmed him. It wasn't just her physicality either, although that was impressive, it was the way she smiled at him, a special smile just for him, and the way she tried to cook and failed dismally, the fact that she read Vogue Magazine from cover to cover and you were not allowed to speak to her whilst she did so. It was all sorts of little things he was sure Derek didn't even notice.

_Derek, I'm so sorry things had to turn out like this. But I love her. And she loves me. Fuck how is this all going to work. I just hope it doesn't get t__o__o ugly._

"Call me if you need anything. I'm going nowhere until I've heard from you. Now remember what we discussed, you will check into a Hotel and then you will come straight here. Ok" Mark said

"Mark I'm not a 5 year old, I know what the plan is. Stop stressing it's going to be OK. Derek doesn't want this marriage anymore than I do. He can't. I mean he can't possibly think everything is OK. I'll call you as soon as I can. It may be late"

"That's OK. I won't sleep until you are back here safe. I wish you would let me come with you."

"Well you can't. It wouldn't serve any of us if Derek knew about us, before he has too. Please let me do this my way. I'll be fine. It's cute that you worry but I've been taking care of myself for a long time, I can do this." Addison said

With that Addison quickly dressed, kissed him briefly and left Mark's apartment.

Addison walked inside the Brownstone and called out to Derek. He appeared from his study.

"Hey, how was your day" he asked casually

"Ok, Derek we need to talk"

"OK, but I don't have much time, I'm on call tonight and I want to go the hospital to check on some patients, I have this one patient that..." Derek was interrupted

"Derek, look I don't care about your patients really I don't. I want to talk about US. Our marriage"

"Oh Christ Addie, not now, I know, I know I've been busy and we haven't seen each other, but I promise next weekend I'll get the weekend off and we can go to the Hamptons. Ok"

"NO! It is not OK. I don't want to hurt you Derek. I'm miserable, our marriage has fallen apart and we let it. "

"You're being a little dramatic, we are fine."

"Fuck Derek if you think this is fine then that is very sad. When was the last time you kissed me? Can you even remember?"

"Addison for god's sake, we are busy, professional people, we are past the romance stage, you have been reading to many Cosmo magazines"

"I'm sorry you feel like that, but I want more than this. I'm going to a Hotel for a while. I think we should separate. I'll come and get my things over the next couple of days"

Derek's pager went off at that exact moment. Instead on being immobilised by his wife of 10 years announcement that she was leaving him, all Derek did was look at his pager, grab his coat and turn to leave.

"Addison we will talk about this when I get home"

"I won't be here when you get home Derek. I'm through."

Derek was too busy rushing to get to the hospital that he didn't even hear her words.

_14 years and this is what it has come too. My god this is just so sad. It should never have turned out like this. What do I have to do to get your attention? _

Addison felt her eyes start to water as Derek's disinterest in her became all the more real. He really didn't care.

She brushed them away and walked upstairs to pack a few things into a suit case. She called a cab and on the journey to the Hotel she had picked at random, she called Mark to let him know she would be with him within the hour and would fill him in on everything once she arrived.

After she had checked in to the Waldorf Astoria on Park Avenue she pulled out an overnight bag and transferred a few things to take to Marks. Within 20 minutes she was back in a cab on her way to the safety of Mark's apartment.

It was midnight, before they went to bed. Addison told Mark everything that had happened and Mark did everything he could to keep his anger in check. On one hand it made things easier for them to be together on the other he just wanted to punch Derek in the face for treating Addison so badly.

Addison laid her head on Mark's chest and he wrapped his arms protectively around her as they both fell into a deep sleep. They were both woken around 3.00am by Mark's phone and consequently his answering machine.

"Hi you've called Mark Sloan I'm not in right now please leave me your name and number and I will give you a call as soon as I can" Marks recorded voice said.

"Hey Mark, it's me Derek, if you are there please pick up. It's Addison she's gone. I can't believe it. I didn't think she was serious. Fuck why is she doing this? Look have you seen her? Anyway please give me a call. I can't believe how petty she is being"

"Petty? Is he serious?"Addison said not believing her ears.

"Addie, he is an ass" Before Mark could say anymore his cell phone started to ring. Sure enough it was Derek.

"What are you doing?" Addison asked

"I'm going to talk to him, tell him he is a fucking idiot and hang up" Mark said furiously.

"What Derek"

"Oh good you're up" Derek said

"No thanks to you. Do you know what time it is?"

"Yeah sorry, look I don't know where she is. I know you guys are friends, did she say anything to you?"

"Derek, even if she did I wouldn't tell you"

"What? You are supposed to be my best friend. If you know where she is just tell me? You and I both know that this is just another stunt Addison is pulling to get attention. She has been doing it her whole life." Derek said quite fed up with the whole situation.

"You really don't have a clue do you? For Fucks sake you talk about your wife like she is some sort of burden."

"Look I need to find her; we have a Dinner at the Chief's house tomorrow night. I need her to be her charming self so I can get this damn promotion, once I have secured that then we can discuss her stupidity. Why would she leave me? I'm the best thing that ever happened to her. She needs me"

"Modest too Derek, unbelievable. So this dinner tomorrow night, what are you going to do if you can't find her in time? Let me just get this straight, just so I'm clear your wife has left you and your concern isn't the fact that she has indeed left you and you do not know where or who she is with but that she may not be able to make a dinner date tomorrow night"

"Don't be so flippant Mark. Of course I'm concerned where she is but you have to admit she is behaving rather selfishly at the moment. Why pick now to leave, when she knew about this dinner and how important it was to me."

"Maybe she just couldn't stand being paraded for all and sundry at this dinner. Maybe she doesn't want to be DerekandAddison anymore. Maybe she was sick of being used as your arm candy Derek. You do realise she is a brilliant Surgeon in her own right"

"Oh like OB/GYN is so hard"

"I'm hanging up now Derek before this conversation turns into a character assassination"

Before Derek could respond Mark had pressed the end call button. Mark gave Addison the edited version of the phone conversation. He didn't think she needed to hear Derek's harsh words.

After another hour of talking they both tried to go back to sleep. He brushed her hair from her face and kissed her forehead as she laid her head on his chest, bringing her hand up to touch his chest near her face.

Mark pulled her even closer. He was never going to let her go again.

"I love you Addie, everything is going to be ok"

"I love you too and I hope your right"

**A/N: I hope you liked this chapter. Derek is in for a very big surprise next chapter. Yes my take on what really happened THAT NIGHT. Please review it inspires me when people let me know what they think!!!!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Ok after much consideration I have decided to go off on an AU tangent. I think Addison and Mark have been through enough. I hope you will like it. . This is the Chapter where Derek finds them in bed together. Please review and let me know what you think.**

Addison called Derek and reluctantly agreed to go to the Dinner at the Chief's house as one last favour to him. She felt it was the last thing she could do to help him, then she could be free to start her life again. Mark was not overly impressed with her decision but he respected it. After all she wouldn't be the woman he loved if she didn't care so much for her friends, and as messed up as the situation was Derek and Addison were friends.

The Dinner was boring just as she had expected but she knew how to play her part. She wore a simple black cocktail dress with her hair tied up, immaculate makeup and killer heels her trademark. Addison smiled in all the right places said all the right things, 1 year of finishing school her father insisted on paid off in situations like this.

Derek played his part too as the attentive loving husband. If only they knew. After all of the goodbyes were said, Derek insisted that Addison come back home at least for the night so they could talk.

"Ok, can you stop the silliness now and come back home? You have made your point. I will try to be a better husband but you have to stop being so selfish and petty" Derek said

"I'm sorry I just can't do that" Addison replied

"You can and you will"

"Derek, come on let's be honest with each other, you don't want a marriage like this anymore than I do. We just fell out of love"

"Fell out of love, please what has happened to you? You were never THAT GIRL, the needy soppy romantic girl that needed soppy words, that was what attracted me to you in the first place"

"Well Derek, perhaps you just never took the time to get to know me. That is partly my fault I never let you know the real me. After 10 years of marriage there are so many things you don't know about me."

"Like What?"

"It's too late Derek, we are over. I'm sorry it has come to this but I need to go"

"You know what Addison, go, calm down, and have your melt down, maybe visit Naomi and Sam in L.A get some perspective then come back. When you get back to your normal self we can get back to our normal lives"

Addison left and went back to her hotel. It was late but she knew Mark would be worrying about her so she called him to let him know she was safe at the Hotel and that they would catch up the next day.

3 days later Mark received a call from Addison. It was a Saturday evening and Derek was at the hospital yet again another emergency.

"Hey Mark" Addison said

"Are you ok? You sound a little flat"

"I'm Ok, can you come over to the brownstone. I need your help"

"What are you doing there?" he asked exasperated

"I'm just... Please just come over, it's a surprise, I think you will like it" She said smiling "At least I hope you will"

"Alright, I'll be over in 15 minutes"

True to his word he knocked on the door, and let himself in.

"Addie" He called out

"I'm upstairs" she called out.

Mark made his way upstairs and smiled when he seen Addison packing all of her belongings into various bags.

"Is this what I think it is?" He said smiling

"If you think it is me packing all of my things to finally get out of this house, then you would be thinking correctly.

"Oh baby, finally" he said taking her in his arms.

He pulled back a little to look at her beautiful face and gently kissed her. He deepened the kiss and began to let his hands wander over her body. She moaned at his touch. She couldn't get enough of this man. Her whole body tingled and ached for him, as hers did for him.

She stopped him. "Hun let's get this stuff into the car and then we can get out of here"

"That sounds like a plan" He said kissing her again quickly.

"I'm not worrying about any of the big stuff; Derek can keep all of it. I just want to take a few personal things and what is in my office, which I have already packed up, so if you want to take that to your car I'll finish up here with all of my clothes"

"You do know that I haven't got a truck." She said with a smirk, referring to all of her clothes.

"You're so funny" She said sarcastically "Really it's a good thing you are a Doctor because I don't think you could make a living out of being a comedian" She said playfully

"Hey I make you laugh, I must be doing something right" He replied

"Yeah well you have to laugh at your boyfriends jokes don't you?" she said

"Boyfriend. Do you have any idea how good that sounds" he said

"It does doesn't it. Now go so we can get out of here"

An hour later just about everything was packed in the car and he came back into the bedroom to pick up the last suitcase.

Mark came up behind her, put his arms around her stomach and she leant back into his chest. He pushed her hair to one side so he could start to kiss her neck. He moved his hands up to her breasts and began to caress them.

Addison turned around and kissed him full on the lips. She couldn't resist him and before either of them realised what they were doing clothes were being removed and they were falling onto the bed.

Mark ran his hand down the outside of her leg and then back up the inside of her leg, until he reached her centre that was already wet with anticipation. She moaned as his mouth began licking and softly biting her nipple. Addison ran her hands over his back.

"Now Mark please" she breathed

He could never deny her anything she wanted especially in the bedroom, even if this wasn't their bedroom; he entered her slowly before they found the perfect rhythm. Addison wrapped her legs around him and began to gasp as he moved so expertly inside her.

They were both so oblivious to anything other than what they were doing that they didn't hear the front door open. Derek was tied he had to get some sleep he had been at the hospital for 18 hours and had to tell a family that their son didn't make it. It had been a rough night. He had no idea it was about to get even rougher.

The house seemed quiet yet he knew Addison was home her handbag was on the hall stand. Something felt a little off, he couldn't put his finger on it but something felt weird. He made his way upstairs; as he approached his bedroom he could hear sighs and moans. He gently pushed the door open and was greeted by a sight he knew would stay etched in his mind forever.

Addison saw him first. "Oh my god Derek" She said.

Mark turned around, removed himself from Addison and tried to cover them.

"Derek, I'm so sorry" Addison said

"SORRY! SORRY!' was all Derek could say as he turned and walked back down the stairs.

Addison and Mark quickly pulled their clothes back on and ran downstairs to see Derek pacing in the entry way.

"My god Derek, I'm so sorry, you weren't meant to find out like this" Addison said

"Like this! How long? How long have you been screwing my best friend behind my back?" Derek exploded as he grabbed Addison by the wrist.

"Don't touch her" Mark exploded

"Don't you dare even talk to me Mark? How could you?"

"Look I'm sorry. We both are. We didn't want you to find out like this."

"What do you mean like this? I'll ask again how long have you two being screwing each other behind my back? Is that why you want to separate Addison so you can be with Mark? Oh this is just perfect" He spat

"I'm so sorry Derek is it really that important how long?" Addison asked

"Well that says it all obviously a long time. How can you be so stupid? Mark wants you because he has always wanted everything I've had. You are just another one of those things Addison"

"Shut up Derek, that is not true. I am in love with her. I always have been. I have stood by and said nothing for years. I have watched you ignore her and treat her with indifference for years now."

"So you took advantage of that. You are a son a bitch you know that"

"That maybe true, and I deserve you being angry with me, but admit it you have been in a lousy marriage for years now and Addison deserves to be with someone who loves her, someone who will make her happy. Which I'm sorry Derek you just don't do"

"Mark please stop" Addison said

"Oh look at that she is defending you now. Addison I can't believe you are stupid enough to believe he loves you. You are just another notch on his belt. He will toss you aside once he has tied of you and I will not be here to take you back." Derek said vehemently

"Derek please, I know you are angry right now with every right, but Mark and I... well its real. He isn't going to leave me"

"Just get out both of you. I never want to see either of you again"

"Derek, I know you're hurting but it doesn't have to be like this" Mark tried

"I said Get out of my Fucking house both of you. You make me sick"

With that said Mark grabbed his jacket and Addison got her handbag from the hallstand and they both left. As Derek paced around the house not knowing what to do, he noticed that some of Addison's CD"s were gone, he went into her study and noticed it was completely empty apart from the book case. He went back up to the bedroom and the scene of the crime and noticed all of her clothes and other personal belongings were gone.

She really was gone. Addison had planned on leaving him all along. What was he going to do now? Right now he was going to get drunk.

Mark and Addison left and drove back to Mark's apartment in silence. Even though they were now free to be together, being caught in the act was not the way they wanted Derek to find out about their betrayal.

How were they going to progress from this point?

**A/N: Please tell me what you think. This chapter was a little difficult to write but I hope it came across as believable. Please review if helps to know what readers think. Constructive ****criticism**** is welcome.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thanks for your reviews!!! This next chapter takes place 1 month after Derek has left**

"I heard Dr Shepherd caught her in bed with him"

"Yeah that's what I heard too. My god how could she? How could he? Dr Sloan was supposed to be his best friend"

"Well what did you expect? Mark Sloan is a manwhore. From what I've heard about him he has slept with at least half of the female staff at this hospital"

"I know they deserve each other she is nothing but a slut. Comes across all professional but.. I just can't believe she could do that to Dr Shepherd he is just so dreamy"

"Does anyone even know where he went?

"I heard Chicago"

"I heard L.A"

"No I think it is Seattle"

Mark had heard enough. This had been going on for a month now. Both he and Addison had fed the Hospital rumour mill with enough Gossip to fill a tabloid. He could handle it. People had always said mean things about his womanizing for years, but Addison didn't deserve this.

"Ok if you people have nothing better to do than gossip about things you know nothing about I suggest you get a life of your own or simply get back to looking after patients" Mark said in a harsh tone.

"Ah um, certainly Dr Sloan"

"Who is looking after my patient Mr Henderson?"

"I am" one of the gossiping nurses said.

"Here is his chart, I just checked on him, you will notice I have amended his pain medication and his bandages will need replacing sometime this morning. If it's not too much trouble" He said sternly

"Yes of course, Dr Sloan I'll do that for you right now"

"Good"

Mark turned on his heel and left. He needed coffee and a really strong one. Mark and Addison had decided to avoid each other at work where possible they didn't need to fuel the rumour mill any more than they already had. He wanted to see her, make sure she was OK. Because if the nurses and orderlies were discussing their infidelity in the Burn unit, he felt sure they would be discussing it in the maternity ward.

"Guess what, I saw Addison Montgomery –Shepherd or whatever she is calling herself these days at the HR department"

"Do you think she is leaving town"

"Ha couldn't be that lucky, no I think she was changing her address. I think she's moved in with him"

"No she wouldn't so soon"

"Well why not her husband's not coming back"

"God how could she. She behaves like she so superior to us, when she is nothing but a common tart"

Addison could feel her eyes sting with tears as yet more gossiping about her love life was openly discussed amongst her nursing staff. _My god my own staff think that little of me. How on earth am I ever going to be respected __again?__ All because I finally chose the right man._

Addison made a hasty retreat and busied herself in her office until her next surgery in 45 minutes.

That evening Mark and Addison sat quietly eating dinner that Mark had cooked. Addison didn't eat much she just pushed her food around on her plate.

"How was your day?" Mark asked quietly

"From the look on your face, about as good as yours"

"No my day was ok" He lied

"MMM you're not a good liar, I know you think you are, but you're not. Well not with me anyway. I know you too well"

"Yeah you do" He smiled

"I just overheard more nasty things about us today that's all; I also lost a patient which is never good. So you could sum my day up as pretty crappy." Addison replied

"I must have heard similar stuff. 3 versions today though on where Derek went"

"Oh yeah, I heard Hawaii. I had to laugh at that. Derek hates the sun"

"Yeah he does. I miss him"

"I know you do Mark. I miss him too; it didn't have to be like this. We handled it badly"

"We did, but he was an ass. He just left. How could he not tell you where he went? I mean what does he want you to do with his things. So many things need to be resolved"

"Oh honey, we can go over and over all of this stuff and it just isn't going to get us anywhere. I have dreamt of being with you for so long but now..."

"Please tell me you don't regret this Addie because..'

"No! No! Of course not" Addison interrupted to put him at ease. "It's just I have wanted this for so long, and I feel like it's been tainted, you know. It feels cheap and nasty and it just isn't but that's how I feel"

"Oh baby, what we have is not tainted please don't say that. We have both wanted this for so long, it's just um what's the right word... unfortunate that it turned out the way it did. But under no circumstance is what we have cheap and nasty"

"I love you, you know that" Addison said as she got up from her seat and walked around to sit in Marks lap

"Yes I do know that and I love you" He smiled at her before he leant in to kiss her softly on the lips.

After another 2 weeks went by Mark noticed that Addison avoided any contact with him outside of the apartment. He was understanding at first, but now he was getting concerned. In 6 weeks they had not been out for dinner, to visit friends, out for drinks anything. Addison worked and came home. That was it.

"I feel like going out for dinner. What do you think? New French restaurant has opened not too far away, thought we could try it out"

"No not tonight Mark maybe next week" Addison replied

"Look I know that it sucks and it's hard, but Addie honey you can't stay locked up in the apartment, we need to go out, like regular people"

"Regular people don't sleep with their husbands best friend and then parade around New York with said best friend" She replied

"Firstly we would not be "parading" its dinner. We used to go out for dinner all the time when Derek was still here and it never bothered you. Secondly and god I hope this is not the reason but are you embarrassed to be seen with me?"

"Don't be absurd. Of course not. I just don't want to be out having dinner and people talking about us"

"Addison how many people do you think live in New York? Do you know every single one of them? Does every single one of them know that you had sex with me?" He said now mocking her

"Now you're being stupid." She said

"Maybe so, but come on let's go out for dinner, I'm sick of my cooking, your cooking or lack thereof and I'm sick of take out, so how about it? You would get to dress up" He added to tempt her

"Dress up, you say, now you have my attention"

"Good, go get changed"

"You better ring and book a table"

"Already done that this morning." He smirked

"And how did you know I'd say yes "She turned to walk back towards him

"I have many ways of persuasion" He replied "If the dressing up thing didn't work I was going to have to bribe you with no sex until you would go out for dinner with me"

"Ha like you would be able to go 1 day without sex"

"I could"

"Do you want to put that to the test?" She asked

"Well I know I could do it, I just don't see the need TO do it" He replied "Besides I think it's you that couldn't last a day."

"God you're so sure of yourself aren't you? Well I might just not be in the mood when we get home after dinner" She said as she started to take her clothes off as she made her way to the bathroom to get changed for dinner.

_I am just going to have to seduce her when we get home!!__ She can be VERY competitive. She will cave, won't she? Why would I even play that stupid game??_

Even though things were pretty rough for them when Derek left, they were together and they had waited over 10 years for it. Nothing was going to stand in their way of happiness. Nothing.

**A/N: Ok so not a great deal happened in this chapter, but I thought it was necessary to establish the initial hurt after Derek Left. Please Review and let me know what you think.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I hope you like this next chapter. ****This is set another 2 months after Mark and Addison finally decided to be seen in Public. So they have been together for 3 months now. **** Please Review.**

After the first time they went out together Addison thought screw it, life was too short to worry about what other people thought about her relationship with Mark. They loved each other and had done for years so yeah basically screw what everyone else thought. No-one except Mark and Addison knew what they had to go through to be together. No one knew that Derek just wasn't the one Addison should have married 10 years ago.

They had been so happy now for 2 months the gossip and vicious rumours had all but stopped as other new and exciting dramas filled the hospital.

Addison sat in her office and was madly flicking through her diary. She was so particular and organized and circled the date when her menstrual cycle started. She was one of those lucky women who had a 28 day cycle. Finding the date she had last circled, her mind started to add the days up. 40 days since her last period.

_40__ days! No that can't be right. _Addison added the days up again. _Shit it is __40__ days. Oh well calm down Addie it is all the stress with Derek leaving and him not returning calls to sort out a settlement, and a divorce. No there is no way I'm pregnant. Is there?? No we are using protection, I mean yes I'm off the contraceptive pill but we have been using condoms. Oh yeah not every time though, like those weekend mornings in the shower, oh and there was that time in Marks office. Oh god that was great sex. Stop focus Addie. You are going to have to get a pregnancy test that's all._

Addison went and retrieved 3 pregnancy tests from the medical supply cupboard. She locked herself in the bathroom and proceeded to get not 1 but 3 positive results. _Oh Shit!!_

She was in 2 minds; a part of her was so deliriously happy, the other part was scared out of her mind. They had never talked about children, they had never expected to have a life together up until 3 months ago, and therefore the subject of children had just never come up. Mark didn't even really like children he always avoided them. _I have to tell him, I just don't know how he will feel about it._

Addison was just about to leave for the day she wanted to tell Mark the news and discuss how he felt about it, or really how they both felt about it. She was stopped by an emergency on her way out that she was needed for. She rang Mark quickly to let him know she wouldn't be home until 10.00pm.

After the emergency C-Section was performed a very tied Addison made her way to Mark's apartment to find him in bed watching TV.

"Mark" She called out as she entered the apartment.

"I'm in the bedroom" he called out.

Addison slipped her shoes off and walked into the bedroom. Mark was lying in bed clad only in long PJ Pants looking so sexy without even trying.

"Hey beautiful, how did the surgery go?" he asked

"Good, Mother and baby are doing just fine"

"Of course they are, you're the best. You look tied babe" he said as she sat down on the bed next to him. She leant down and kissed him gently on the lips.

"I am it's been a strange day" She replied vaguely.

"Are you OK?" he asked "Have you heard from Derek?"

"No No, he still won't return any of my calls and I haven't heard anything from my lawyer to say he has acknowledged the divorce papers"

"Mmm well he can't ignore it forever"

"No um Mark um I ah need to talk to you about something "

"God that doesn't sound good. Is something wrong?" Mark turned the volume down on the TV and sat up a little straighter in bed and took her hands in his.

"Wrong um well no not really, well I just"

"Addie please just tell me" he said getting a little anxious

"Oh Mark, I never planned this and it is really unexpected and I did the test 3 times"

"Are you sick? What tests? Addison what is it?" Mark was now out of bed and sitting next to her cupping her face with his hand.

"I'm pregnant"

Mark still had his hand on her face and just looked into her eyes; he couldn't speak, for the first time in his life he was speechless.

"Mark" she said quietly

"Are you sure, I mean we always use protection"

"I did the test 3 times with 3 positive results. Besides we haven't always used protection; does sex in the shower ring any bells"

"Oh yeah and in my office"

"See not always"

"Well how do you feel about it?" he asked

"Honestly I'm not sure. A part of me is happy really happy, I have always wanted a child, but you know the timing was never right. The other part of me is a little scared, I mean we have only been together for 3 months, it's a little soon"

"Yeah I guess but a baby, I mean OUR baby that's huge." He said smiling

"So you're not mad"

"Of course not, a little shocked maybe but not mad no"

"We haven't ever talked about children. You don't really like kids"

"But this is a little different this would be our baby. I've thought about it over the years" He added

"Us having a baby"

"Yeah, I always imagined if we had a little girl she would have your hair and if we had a little boy I imagine he would have your eyes and be a total heartbreaker"

"Just like you" She said

"Hey not anymore, I am totally a one woman man these days"

"I know. I just don't know what to think, I'm not even divorced and I'm pregnant to another man"

"Is that you're only concern?"

"No I just don't know if we are ready"

"I do. I think we are ready. I think it will be amazing, we can have our own family Addie it's what we have both always wanted"

"Yeah, it is. Are you sure? I mean are we really going to do this?"

"Yes, let's have this baby" He said as he took her in his arms and kissed her.

"Come and have a shower with me? She asked

Mark just smiled and followed her into the bathroom and they had a long warm shower together and made love. The same shower where the baby Addison was carrying was probably conceived.

"I didn't even ask, How far along are you?" Mark asked as they lay in bed together wrapped in each other's arms.

"I'm 6 weeks. We can do a scan in 2 more weeks to have a look"

"This is all so much to take in. I mean 3 and a half months ago I could never have imagined this happening. Just too finally be with you was the best thing I could ever have dreamed of, but now a baby on the way it's just so amazing"

"Now I know you want this, I really do too." Addison said smiling

Mark let his hand rest protectively over her stomach and kissed Addison gently on the lips.

"We have to get in touch with Derek" Mark said

"Yes, if he won't return my calls we are just going to have to fly to Seattle to get him to sign the divorce papers."

"Maybe he doesn't want to sign them"

"Well bad luck, I'm getting a divorce. He wants it too. I can't understand why he won't return my calls. I know he is still pissed off with us, but surely he wants to put it all behind him."

"I think he just wants to make life difficult for us"

"Mmm maybe" Addison agreed

"All right well we should get you completely checked out by a Obstetrician make sure everything is Ok then we will fly out to Seattle and get Derek to sign the papers"

"I'm an Obstetrician I can run the tests"

"Addie you can't treat yourself. You will have to see someone else"

"Ok Ok your right I will organise that for a few days time, then we can go and get this divorce sorted out"

"Then the three of us can start our lives"

"Mark I think we will need to buy a house, we can't raise a baby in your bachelor pad, it's not big enough"

Mark just smiled. Was it really happening, were they really going to get their happily ever after??

**A/N: Yah a Maddison baby!!! Did Mark take it too well?**** Please review and let me know what you think? I really like feedback it helps me to keep writing.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Please Read and Review. ****Enjoy!!!!**

Addison was standing just inside of the entrance of Seattle Grace hospital. She had been up to see Richard Webber her old mentor and he had told her that Derek should be leaving at 6.00pm. So she waited. She was nervous but finally after much arguing convinced Mark that she needed to see him alone. If Derek saw them together she feared it would only antagonize the situation. Mark wasn't happy but he agreed to wait for her in the hire car.

Addison watched as Derek and a pretty young woman walked down the stairs. Addison watched their interaction and realised that Derek looked happy, really happy; he was looking at this woman in a way he had never looked at her. Addison wasn't jealous far from it, she felt relieved that he had moved on, hopefully he would sign the divorce papers and Mark and Addison could return to New York and get on with their lives.

"Hi Derek" she said as he approached. The smile on his face faded as he saw Addison standing there. Was it his imagination or had she put on a little weight?

"Addison what are you doing here?" He said quietly obviously not wanting to cause a scene.

"Um Hi, I'm Addison Montgomery" Addie said extending her hand to the woman standing with Derek

"Hi I'm Meredith Grey. Are you a friend of Derek's from New York"

"No she is no friend of mine" Derek interrupted before Addison could say anything. "Meredith can you go ahead and I'll meet you at Joes in 15 minutes"

"Sure" Meredith said "Nice to meet you Addison"

"You too Meredith"

Derek grabbed Addison around the waist and walked with her to the closest empty exam room.

"Ouch Derek your hurting me. Let go" She hissed

As Derek's hand had grazed her stomach his first assessment that she had put on weight was partially right.

"Are you pregnant?" He said

"Not that it is any of your business but yes"

"Any of my business, you have got to be kidding me! You are still my wife and you have gotten yourself pregnant to my best friend. I think that it makes it my business"

"Derek, honestly why do you care? You have moved on. You seem happy with Meredith, please take a look at the divorce papers, have your lawyer look at them and sign them so we can all get on with our lives"

"Is Mark with you? No let me guess he has done a runner now that you're pregnant. My god that man doesn't know what faithful is. But then again apparently neither do you" He said

"Derek don't be like this, Mark and I are still together and are very happy, please just sign the divorce papers"

Derek and Addison continued arguing for another half an hour but in the end he agreed to have his lawyer look over the divorce papers and once they were signed he would have them couriered back to her.

Addison was quiet on the trip back to the Hotel. They had their flights booked for the next day. Once back at the Hotel Addison took a warm bath while Mark ordered room service.

"Are you ready to talk about it?" Mark asked

"There's not much to tell. He is still really pissed off with both of us. He said some nasty spiteful things but in the end he agreed to see a lawyer and divorce me"

"Does he know you're pregnant?"

"Yes he put his arm around my waist and felt my stomach"

"He shouldn't be touching you at all" Mark said suddenly annoyed at the thought of Derek touching her in any way.

"I know he just wanted to pull me into an empty room to discuss things. Mark please don't be angry I'm tied I just need to have a nap"

"Yeah of course"

Mark gently kissed her lips and pulled the covers over her as she fell asleep almost immediately.

The next thing Addison remembered was waking up with sharp pain in her stomach. She threw the covers off her and noticed there was a small amount of blood on the sheets.

"Oh God Mark wake up" She said shaking him awake

"Mm what" he said sleepily

"Mark it's the baby, please wake up"

Mark's eyes flew open as he noticed the blood on the sheets and the scared look in Addison's eyes.

"Oh shit, ok um let's get you to the hospital" He said thinking quickly.

Mark helped Addison get out of bed and get dressed. He then drove like a mad man back to the hospital to have Addison checked out.

"I need some help here" He called out as he carried Addison into the emergency room of Seattle Grace Hospital

"What have we got" A short black woman asked

"Um my girlfriend is 8 weeks pregnant and she woke with sharp pains and some bleeding" Mark said quickly turning into Doctor Mode.

"Ok, what's your name?" she asked as Addison was transferred to a gurney

"Addison Montgomery. I am an OB/GYN specialist I need you to get an ultra sound machine to check for my baby's heartbeat" Addison replied

"Sure, my name is Miranda Bailey I will page OB now and have someone come down straight away"

Mark took a seat next to her and held her hand and brushed the hair out of her face as he could see how much pain she was in. He felt totally helpless, he needed to be strong for Addison but he too was scared. He wanted this child so much the thought of losing it was too much to bare.

Derek came back into the hospital to check on a patient when he noticed Mark and Addison in the emergency room.

"My god Addison what's happened" Derek said as he approached them

"Get the hell away from her" Mark said angrily

"She is still my wife Mark and I want to know what is wrong"

Everyone in the ER just stopped and stared at the two men.

"Not for much longer, now get out"

"Mark" Addison said reaching for his hand and crying softly as she felt more pain.

Mark just glared at Derek as he sat back down and took Addison's hand

"It's going to be Ok Honey; someone will be down really soon to check and see if we can find a heartbeat"

"We have too I can't lose our baby" She said

Derek just watched he had never seen Addison like this. He had never seen her vulnerable and scared. He was shocked at how attentive Mark was. Had they really been in love all this time and he didn't notice?

A Doctor arrived shortly, wheeling a portable ultra sound machine.

"Hi, I'm Dr Alex Karev and you are?" He asked

"Addison Montgomery"

"As in Dr Addison Montgomery-Shepherd"

Addison flinched at her married name; she really didn't want that surname anymore.

"It's just Montgomery now" She replied

At hearing this Derek turned and walked away.

"Ok well I guess I don't have to explain what I need to do" He said trying to reassure her

"No, I just need you find a heartbeat. You have to find a heartbeat" Addison said almost begging.

Alex pulled a curtain around them and lifted Addison's shirt and put some gel on her stomach to begin the ultra sound.

"I'm sorry Dr Montgomery I just can't find a heartbeat, but that doesn't mean anything. I would like to transfer you to the maternity ward and do a few tests. Ok" Alex said

While Alex and an orderly wheeled Alex upstairs, Mark filled in some paperwork for the nurses and was just about to make his way back up to Addison's side when he noticed Derek standing in the foyer.

Mark walked straight over to him, grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pushed him against the nearest wall

"I swear to god if anything happens to Addison or OUR baby I WILL HURT YOU. What is happening to her right now that is on YOU" Mark said angrily as he shoved him against the wall and let go of his shirt, before turning and walking away.

Derek stood there in shock. How could he have been so blind as to not see how Mark had always felt about Addison?

Mark went back upstairs and found Addison with a drip in her arm and someone taking blood. Addison had tears in her eyes as Mark crossed the room and took her hand in his.

"It's going to be OK. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

"It just hurts so much"

"I know" Mark didn't know what else to say as he kissed her on the top of the head. "I love you" he added

"I love you too"

**A/N: Ok so I have left it open, will she or wont she lose the baby? Please review and give me your ****ideas. I have an idea of where this is going to go but am open to suggestions!!!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hope you like this Chapter. Please be kind and review!!!! Thanks to all of you who have reviewed, it is very much appreciated.**

Alex thought the best course of action was to use and internal probe to find the baby's heartbeat, after 10 long agonizing minutes, they all heard a slow heartbeat.

"There it is." Addison whispered

"There it is" Alex replied smiling at both of them. Continuing. "It certainly isn't as strong as I would like, but we can improve that I'm sure. There does not seem to be any other problems." He added

"Thank God" Mark uttered as he felt relief wash over him. He turned Addison's face towards his and kissed her gently on the lips.

"Thank you Dr Karev" Addison replied after she broke Mark's kiss.

"You're welcome. Now what I would like you to do is for you to have bed rest for 3-5 days, just so we can get the baby's heartbeat up to an acceptable level. As soon as we can hear 100 plus beats per minute I think it would be safe enough for you to fly back to New York" Alex said

"Sure I think we can do that" Addison agreed looking at Mark

"Of course, I'll get in touch with work and reorganize our schedules" Mark supplied. He knew how much both of their patients relied on them, and it would help Addison rest easily if she knew her current patients were re-assigned.

"Ok Dr Montgomery, look I know it is none of my business, but whatever stress you dealt with yesterday and today, you as well as anybody know that it must be eliminated. Having said that if it would help I can request that Dr Shepherd be banned from coming anywhere near your room" Alex said, he himself realizing that Shepherd was an ass leading his friend Meredith on as well as helping to cause this woman to nearly lose her baby.

"Thanks Dr Karev, but I don't think that will be necessary. I spoke with him myself, I do not think he will be bothering either of us" Mark said

"Oh god Mark what did you do?" Addison Asked

"Not much just told him, I was holding him responsible if anything happened to you. I'm pretty sure he is going to back off now"

"Well I think I will leave you two alone" Alex said as he made to leave the room.

"Alex, Dr Karev, if you ever want to transfer to New York, make sure you look me up at Mount Sinai I would be more than happy to have you on my staff." Addison offered

"Wow that's quite a compliment, thank you"

"Well you didn't give up until you found our baby's heartbeat, I'm impressed, and so the offer will always stand. Again thank you."

Alex just nodded his head and took his leave and Addison sat up a little straighter placing her hands on her stomach looking into Marks eyes. She saw tears building up in his eyes.

"God Addie I was so scared, I don't know what I would have done if..."

"I know don't think about it. It didn't happen so everything is OK. I just need to get some rest, and then we can get back to New York."

"Can I get you anything?" Mark asked as he placed his hands on top of Addison's

"Actually I'm starving can you get me a sandwich and a drink"

"Sure, Chicken Salad and a bottle of Lemonade"

"You know me too well" Addison smiled at him before she pulled him to her for a long slow kiss. "Thank you for being here, for keeping me calm"

"Hey there is nowhere else I would be. You are my family, I love you, you will ALWAYS be my first priority, ALWAYS, so you better get used to it, because I'm not going anywhere"

"Good because I'm not going anywhere either, we have been through too much together. I love you Mark, always have, always will" She said smiling remembering that they both said those words all those years ago in the Hamptons.

"And I love you, always have always will" He said returning her smile

Mark left the room to get Addison her sandwich, on the way back he stopped just outside of her room and looked at her; he felt his heart flutter just looking at her through the window. All of his emotions threatening to take over, as the reality of the day began to take its toll on him. He realized again just how much he loved her and how now she was in his life permanently he never wanted to lose her again. He sat on a chair near the nurse's station to gather his composure before he went back into the room.

Derek saw him sitting there with a sad look in his eyes. He gingerly approached.

"How is she?" He asked

Mark looked up to see Derek standing in front of him. "She is fine, the baby's fine, but Derek, do us all a favour and sign the divorce papers and leave us alone"

"It will be my pleasure Mark; I want nothing to do with either of you again. The pair of you disgust me. I find it totally unbelievable that both you and Addie are playing the victims here; I'm the one that was screwed over by MY WIFE and MY BEST FRIEND, so really I can't see how you can be pissed off with me. You both make me sick" Derek said as turned to leave

Mark got up out of his chair and stood towering over Derek.

"You know what Derek; you are a real piece of work. You dismissed Addie and by the way you have no right to call her that anymore, for almost your entire marriage, so if you want to point the finger at anyone take a long hard look in the mirror you were in a lousy marriage and treated her badly. So yeah the feeling is mutual both Addie and I never want to see you again either. You caused her so much stress she nearly lost our child something we both really want, something I will never be able to forgive you for so Derek sign the papers and let's just cut all ties"

"You are welcome to her, she is no prize and really not that great in bed, so sure go off and have your life" Derek said

With that Mark punched Derek square across his face, and enjoyed seeing him fall to the floor, with blood oozing from his cheek bone.

"You might want to find a good plastic surgeon to suture that for you, so it won't leave a scar" Mark said triumphantly as he picked up Addison's sandwich and drink and returned to her room.

Mark stayed with Addison for as long as he could before he was asked to leave, with his very persuasive manner he convinced the night nurse Olivia to let him stay the night.

Addison moved over in the bed so Mark could lie next to her and hold her in his arms.

"So you really punched Derek?" Addison asked

"Yeah I know you are probably pissed with me but god it felt good, I've wanted to do it for years"

"No I'm not pissed, I wish I could have seen it" She said smiling.

The lay in each other's arms and Mark placed soft kisses on her face as she drifted off to sleep.

Derek and Meredith are about to leave the hospital, when they walked past Addison's room and see Mark and Addison wrapped in each other's arms. They both stoped and looked in.

"So you have a wife, who slept with your best friend that is why you came to Seattle" Meredith asked

"Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I was just hurting so much"

"But Derek it's not a small detail to leave out, you have a wife"

"Legally I do, but Meredith, I think I finally get it. Looking back over the years, the signs were all there, Addison was more Mark's wife than she ever was mine. They had their own kind of language, their own little club, that I was never part of. I just don't know how I was so blind. And if I'm being honest really honest, we never had that, we never felt about each other the way I can see that they feel about each other."

"Oh Derek I'm so sorry"

"No don't be, I was an absent husband, but I have you now, and the feelings I have for you I don't think I ever had for Addison. I don't think I can ever forgive them but I am ready to sign the divorce papers and move on with my life with you, if you still want me"

"Of course I do" Meredith said as they left the hospital.

5 days later, Mark and Addison's baby's heartbeat was now a strong 115 beats per minute and they were ready to leave to start their life in New York. Derek had dropped the signed divorce papers over to Addison the day before she left.

It was settled Derek would keep the Brownstone (which he would most likely sell as he had no desire to ever return to New York) and Addison would keep the house in the Hamptons. Other items such as furniture etc would be split up and overall both parties were happy with the arrangement.

Mark and Addison were now free, free to be together without any more complications.

**A/N: I hope I made everyone happy with keeping baby Maddison alive. Now please be kind and review!!!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: So this Chapter is set 5 years after Addison nearly miscarried. It is a very mushy chapter. Hope you like it!!! Please review.**

Addison stood and looked at her reflection. She wore a simple ivory dress with shoestring straps that fitted her figure perfectly. It fell to her knees and she wore a pair of strappy high healed sandals. Her hair was swept up into a messy French roll and her make-up was immaculate as always.

Just as she was putting her earrings in Mark opened the door.

"Wow you look beautiful" He said admiring her

"Hey you look pretty amazing yourself" She replied as she eyed him from the mirror, taking in just how handsome he looked in his black suit.

Mark walked over to her and placed his hands on her hips as he began to kiss her neck.

"So we are really getting married" Addison said

Mark stopped kissing her to look at her reflection. "Yes finally" He replied

"Hey you know that this is just a formality right"

"Yeah I know but it will be good to belong together in every sense of the word"

"Where are the kids?" Addison asked

"Well Madeline is practicing throwing rose petals and Nicholas is playing with his cars"

"Well I guess we should go and get them."

"Mmm hmm" He said as he began kissing her neck again.

"Hey you two wait until after the ceremony for that" Naomi said as she entered the room

Mark laughed "Ok I had better go, see YOU soon" He said as he gave Addison a quick kiss on the lips.

"So how are you feeling?" Naomi asked

"I feel great, I know that this is right this time, I just wish... I just wish I had of been strong enough to have done this 15 years ago. Instead of making a mess out of everything"

"Don't do this to yourself, not today. You and Mark belong together you always have so today is just to formalise things. I mean you have been together for so long now and you have the 2 most beautiful children that I'm not envying you when Maddy turns 13 and all the boys start chasing her. Not to mention if Nick turns out anything like Mark did, god help all the 2 year old girls of New York in another 12 years" Naomi said laughing.

"Oh God I do not want to think about that. I think Mark will lock Maddy in her room and not let her out until she is in her late 20's. But Nick well Mark will probably encourage him to do whatever. Ugh I don't want to think about it" Addison said

Naomi and Addison made their way down the stairs to get the children ready. Madeline was wearing a pretty long white dress that was sure to be filthy by the end of the day. Nicholas was in a little black suit similar to what his dad was wearing, that too was sure to be filthy by the end of the day.

"Mommy, you look pretty" A very confident 5 year old Madeline said

"Thanks sweetie, you look pretty too"

"Can we go and marry daddy now"

"Yes I think that is a good idea" Addison smiled as she kissed the little girl on the top of her head. "Where is my favourite boy?" Addison asked

"Up Mommy" Nicholas uttered in his best 2 year old vocabulary as he indicated he wanted to be picked up.

Addison picked him up and put him on her hip as she clutched Maddy's hand and they left the house in the Hamptons and walked to the side of the house where the ceremony was to take place.

The guests were seated, it was a small ceremony of about 40 people, most of which were colleagues and friends as neither Mark or Addison had any contact with their family any more. Nancy, Derek's sister was there along with their Mother Victoria, whom after a few years forgave Addison and Mark and continued a relationship with both of them.

Addison walked the short distance down the make shift aisle with Nicholas on her hip and Madeline's hand in her own. Madeline had already thrown all of the rose petals in practice so none were left for the ceremony. Mark stood at the other end and smiled as he watched his family walk towards him. Sometimes, he still couldn't believe it was real, that the woman he had loved his whole adult life was really and truly his forever. The fact that they were blessed with two beautiful children never lost its impact on him. _I really am the luckiest man in the world._

Addison's eyes never left Marks as she made her way to stand next to him. Once she arrived by Marks side she put Nicholas down and Madeline took his hand and they both went and sat with Savvy and Weiss.

Neither Mark nor Addison really heard the Celebrants words as they just gazed into each other's eyes, replaying the road they both took to get to this point in their lives. They said the "I Do's" in the appropriate places and once they were pronounced Husband and Wife, Mark took Addison's face in his hands and kissed her softly at first before he deepened the kiss. She pulled away from him first and moved her mouth to his ear and whispered "We will finish this later"

Mark smiled and let her go as they made their way back down the makeshift aisle before they were given hugs and congratulations from their guests.

The afternoon was perfect in every way; they didn't have speeches as they wanted a very simple afternoon of good food and drinks, good friends and some dancing.

"Truly, Madly, Deeply" began to play and Addison searched for Mark, he was talking to Victoria and as soon as he heard the song he excused himself and went in search of Addison. They moved slowly together as he pressed her body to his.

"Do you remember this song" Addison asked

"Of course I do. I couldn't listen to it for years. If it came on the radio I would have to turn it off"

"Me too. It just made me feel so sad. Now... It's still so hard to believe that we are married. I sometimes think it's a dream"

"Well we must be having the same dream" He replied

Just as they were both leaning in to kiss they both felt something crash into their legs.

"I want to dance too" Maddy said

"It's definitely not a dream" Mark Laughed as he picked up his daughter.

"No; we don't get interrupted by a 5 year old in the dream" Addison laughed

"Where is Nick?" Mark asked as he twirled Maddy around

"Playing" she said as she pointed to her brother playing in his sandpit in his good clothes.

"Oh Nicky you are going to get filthy" Addison said as she made her way over to him but was stopped by Mark's hand.

"Don't be angry at him, Addie, remember what we decided. We weren't allowed to do anything when we were kids remember, so let him play, it's just clothes. He won't wear it again anyway and the photos are almost done" Mark said trying to reason with her

"Ok your right, but I'm still going to get him, I haven't seen him hardly all day"

Mark just smiled and watched her walk over to their grubby son and scooped him up to take him inside to clean him up.

As the afternoon turned into night and the guests left, Mark and Addison got the kids things ready and put them in the car with Savvy and Weiss. Madeline and Nicholas would be staying with them for the night and then back in New York for a week while Mark and Addison went to Tahiti for their Honeymoon.

Once everyone was gone they made their way inside the house. Mark had no sooner locked the front door when Addison almost jumped on him, and began to kiss him.

"God finally we are alone" She muttered in his ear

"Mmm I've been wanting to be alone with you all day" He said in between kisses.

"I want to get out of this dress" She said

"I think I can help with that" He said seductively in her ear as he reached for the zip at the side of her dress.

As they kissed and undressed they made their way upstairs, when they reached the landing Mark stopped her and turned her to go into the guest room instead of progressing further down the hall to the main bedroom.

"What are you doing?" Addison said

"I want to sleep in the guest room tonight. I have good memories of a night in this room, thought we could make more" Mark said

Addison just smiled and followed him into the room.

Once they were in the room, the door was shut and the rest of their clothes were removed. He laid her gently on the bed and ran his hands all over her body, as they kissed each other passionately letting their tongues entwine. They both needed each other right then and there; they had wanted this all day. Addison sat on top of him and positioned herself so she could slide on him at the exact angle that worked for both of them. He sat up and her legs wrapped around the back of his waist as they both moved together to find the perfect rhythm.

Once they both gained their much needed release they collapsed in each other's arms for a short time before they made love again this time at a much slower pace.

**A/N: OK so this chapter was a little sappy but they have been through so much I thought they needed to be happy. The next chapter is the last one. So please be kind and review!!!!**


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